GaRy^^IcY

2006-07-17T00:05:00.000-07:00

Hmm...had been quite awhile tat i didnt update my blog le...my com had been down...i dun feel like being online recently...life had been quite ok to mi...there's ups n downs...hmm..talk abt my work first...work had been great...veri stress but at least i m happy to have all my colleagues ard...fun to mix ard with them...trying my best to do a great job...but too bad i m too soft hearted le...dun bear to get angry with them or even scold them...haiz...

As for my love life...haha...had been great...found someone i m comfortable with...happy to have her ard mi...always there to listen to my craps n complains...find her strong at the outside but soft in the inside...going to love her to the core le...its always great to find someone tat u like alot...u need alot...cant bear to wait till sept...going thailand with her...its my dream to bring someone i love for a short holiday de...happy happy happy...

N for u guys...how r everyone?? fine?? recently kind of MIA le...i m so busy till cant find any time to msg or call anyone of u all...u guys beta tc wor...shall meet up with u all soon...ok le...gt to type till here...tired liao...n going to call my little toot toot le...bye...

2006-06-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

Juz came back from work nt long ago...its another bz n tiring weekend...actually left work veri early ytd...ard 5 plus in the evening ba...back was in pain...wanted to c a doc but too bad all clinics r closed in the evening...sian 3/4...no choice gt to ren the pain...reached home wen st8 to bed to rest...9 plus was woke up by ed's call...den was on fone till 2am...n wen to bed...woke up ard 7am in the morning...wen to c my family doc...he suggested to have a injection at my back but i rejected it... :p i cant stand the pain lor...the injection is rite in my back lor...haiz...in the end he gave mi tons of pills to eat...n i was given 3 days of MC...but i still wen back to work...as today is sunday...i cant leave my team to fight the battlefield de...keke....ate something for breakfast n after tat took the pills...after taking them i felt so slply lor...but at least my team of ppl managed to cheer mi up...i love u guys to the core lor...keke....will be gg bed soon le...shall update some other time.... =)

2006-06-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

Juz woke up nt long ago..gt abit of hangover from last nite's drinking session...i m so surprised tat even throu i was damn drunk, i still manage to take care of 2 person...wahaha...it was LC's bday ytd...after work christine called mi to join them at kbox...but i was damn tired le...had a short meeting with alex till 11.30pm...den later on join them at kbox...desmond n his frens r oso there but ib a diff room...the moment we step into the room...mi n alex glup down 2 cups of vodka le...mi LC n christine drank quite alot...n at ard 2am we had already fall aslp...n christine puked onto mi...my whole jeans was gone... :'( anyway at the end...desmond n his frens sent LC back...mi n alex sent christine back...n by the time i reached home was abt 3.15am le...so tired...so smelly...haiz....but its been quite awhile tat i didnt enjoy myself so much le...

2006-06-19T18:05:00.000-07:00

I m tired..
Veri veri tired..

Im feeling lost...
Veri veri lost...

Wat do i really wan??
I dun know..
I really dun know...

I had give up...
Simply juz give up on myself...

2006-06-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

U cast mi aside...

Left mi all alone sitting by the window...

I m at the edge of breaking down...

Dun take mi as yr toy...

I m not...

I love u so n i hate u so...

2006-06-14T03:30:00.000-07:00

Juz gt back home nt long ago...wen to have my small little bbq gathering...wanted to stay overnite de but too bad tat's a veri heavy rain...gt no choice have to pack up n leave...its been quite a long time we didnt have such gathering le...really treasure all those past...anyway slept ard 4 plus last nite n woke up at ard 10.30am by all those calls...argh!! i m so lack of slp sia...met up with charmaine, ah ying n xueting at 2.30pm n headed for parkway to get our stuffs...reached east coast ard 4 plus...waited for the cathering thing till 6 plus...everyone was damn hungry liao...started fire once everything arrived...one by one all the rest arrived...n by 1am everyone had left le...n only 5 of us stayed there to chat n joke...it feel great...juz a few veri gd frens...sitting round the table n chat...but too bad it started to rain...haiz...tot can at least watch the sun rise...

Tml still have baibai's bday chalet to go...n i m so so tired!!! i really need a long long break to relax myself...

2006-06-11T01:50:00.000-07:00

110606...happy 2nd year anniversary...
Have a happy n lovely supper nite with u...take care...

Under alot of stress recently...damn tired sia...target is getting higher n higher...gt to achieve watever target they had set for mi...every weekend seems to be a battlefield for the whole group of us...from the moment we opened the shop, customers start to flock in...endless of customers equal to endless of work...i m so so so tired!!

2006-06-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a long time i didnt blog le...shall blog wat had happen recently ba...life had been ok...nt too much ups n downs....dun have too much of emo feelings to handle...maybe becoz of my work ba...everyday have tons of things to do...dun even have a single min to think...n my colleagues r great...we joke together...play together...simply juz share everything together...had been joining them for meetings n drinking sessions...my tummy is getting bigger from all those drinking nites le...haiz...

Is whole mth is damn busy...have quite alot of frens celebrating their bday...elaine's on 12th june...baibai's on 14th june....LC's on 22th june...n the last one will be my buddy liao...edwin's on 26th june...wahh...tons of events sia...den we r having a bbq gathering on 13th june...anyone interested?? join us den....hope everything will turn out gd on tat day...dun wish to c black faces...anyway anyone interesed pls contact my vice chairman...ah ying..thks...keke....n i m going for my basic theory le...i have to try hard to gt my lisence in a year...i m so eager to gt myself a car...i wan to drive!!!

Now going into a topic tat all frens r veri interested in...r/s...wahahaha....hmm...i m still single now...n i realise tat i kinda of like single life...is tat kind of freedom feelings tat i like...a partner is juz another extra burden...no thks...i prefer life to be simple n free...juz dun wan to think too much...let natural take its course...no more forcing...no matter how deeply in love u r...if u both r nt meant to be...watever u do or say..it wont helps anymore...no matter how how u wait for her...if she dun appreciate, u r juz a transparent person to her...give up, move on...life is great ahead...at least now i have veri great frens n buddies ard...love u guys.....

2006-05-28T00:33:00.000-07:00

Dealing with my emo feelings...it seems so diffcult...wat more can i say?? wat more can i do?? i m juz bad at handling my own feelings...cant seems to control it...nowadays nth can make mi really smile from my heart...juz have to force out all those smiles for my customers...life is bad but i still have my gd buddies ard...n they r there for mi whenever i need them... =)) so lucky to have them...love u guys to bits...

Com is down these few days...think wont be online often till i get a new com le...n i will be away soon...think will be back in the mid of june...or maybe on ed's birthday le...take care guys...ciao...

2006-05-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

So bloody pek chek...tis few days com had gone crazy...at times can switch on...n at times it juz threw temper...cant get online at nite...its all usually in the morning tat it's on a happy mood n let mi use it...i think its telling mi to get a new com sooner le...shall go look ard liao...haiz...spend money again...i still have my driving license to go for...n my PDA fone...hmm n now there's a new thing in my list le...a laptop...sian sian...

Last nite wen drinking with my colleagues n manager...drank till 1 plus den reach home...everyone is drunk...keke...desmond n roy damn zai...they still can manage to drive...desmond drove mi all the way home...n i can c he cant make it liao lor...keke...anyway last nite everyone was in bad mood...haiz...i too have tons of things to think...cant strighten out my tots...

Everynite wen everyone is slping soundly...i m the only person who is awake...thinking of u...thinking of all those wonderful memories...tears started to flow wen i realise how bad i had been...hurting u n stuffs...n there's no way i can amend all those past le...i have to get myself out of all these sooner or later...time to wake up le gary!! dun dream anymore...she wont be back de...

2006-05-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Juz woke up nt long ago...had been slping the whole day...been having those kind of mixture feelings...which i dun wish to think of it...so chose to be in bed n rest in peace...i somehow had fallen for her...which i dun wan to...i wan to move on but i chose to move on by myself...i dun wan anyone to come into my life anymore...is enough for mi to carry those sweet memories with mi...i really dun know wat to do now...juz waiting for time to let everything fade away...i hope is juz a crush...i dun wish to gt hurt or i dun wish to hurt her....

Its been quite a time since we broke up...n now we r leading on our own life...u have someone by yr side now...holding yr hands...we r juz like normal frens...once in a while we contact each other...to do some catching up...wen u r sad or unhappy...u would come n tell mi...n i try my best to console u...wen u recover from yr sadness...u would juz say thks n leave....wenever u say abt how happy u r with him...i would juz smile n listen...but do u know how deeply hurted i m...u r still in my heart even thou i m trying to avoid u...i know i misses u badly but i dun wish to do a thing anymore...u have someone tat u love n he love u too...so i beta get smarter n juz move aside to lead my own life...

I think i wont be online too much liao...com had been down...so have to get a new com first...haha...ciao...

2006-05-22T00:04:00.000-07:00

Finally reached home after a long long day of work...tired tired tired...tml still have a day to go before its my off day...n i m damn broke liao...haiz...will try to stay at home n nt gg out...gg to restore my energy...

Alot of things had been happening tis few days...i m so sick of it...its already coming to the mid of the year liao but things r still turning veri bad for mi...i m so tired to do anything le...juz leave it...forget it n run far far away from reality...

A interesting qns to ask u guys:

Choose a fav ice cream flavour n it will tell wat kind of sex partner u r:
1. choco
2. strawberry
3. vanilla
4. coffee
5. peppermint

Ans will be out the nice day...keke...orh orh koon le...bye

2006-05-21T00:24:00.000-07:00

Juz reached home nt long ago...damn tired...woke up ard 7.30am tis morning...n i slept ard 2 plus 3 last nite lor...reached my outlet ard 8.45am...den started to tidy up the place n put up all the things for the roadshow...oh ya...we r having a nokia roadshow for 2 days...n we had 2 promoters today...one is sally (as usual)...the LG's promoter n the other is zann...the nokia's promoter...today everyone worked like mad lor...n the weather is so hot...i didnt gt to eat the whole sia...but luckily i dun feel hungry at all...desmond left the shop ard 9.30pm...he is celebrating his belated birthday with his frens...wanted to go with him de but there's too much things to do le...its been 2 weeks tat i didnt go clubbing liao lor...mich msged mi tis afternoon to meet up at ard wat time de...becoz few days ago i promised her tat i m going RUSH tonite de...but in the end i cant make it lor...haiz...desmond n his frens wen over to MOS tonite...argh!! pek chek..cant go...

Ok...anyway i had been drinking for days liao...so still ok la...can amend the kind of feelings tat i didnt go clubbing...keke...i think next week i oso wont be gg liao...so gt to wait till the first week of june le...hmm...but still will be going over to kel's place for drinking n mahjong sessions de...keke...gt to ciao liao...tired le...orh orh koon time.....

2006-05-20T00:50:00.000-07:00

Dun know how to start tis blog...or maybe will say wat had happen tis few days ba...start from wed ba...wen out the whole day...damn tired...veri pek chek lor...cant gt enough of slp...after having my hair cut...i wanted to take a short nap before meeting up vee de...but she kept calling mi to ask mi wat time i will reach..so no choice...wen out ard 11 plus...wen over to raffles place to look for derrick first...they were veri bz...so didnt have a chance to talk to him...left the place ard 1pm...vee kept telling mi tat she is hungry...reached her place ard 1.30pm...wen lunch n shopping spree with her...till 3 plus 4 den wen back to her work place...pei her chat till 6 plus n took a cab down to amk to meet ah ying up...chat alot of rubbish with her...keke...den after tat wen supper with siling...n back home to slp le...

Thurs as usual...worked the whole day...ah ying came over to my work place to look for mi...n she stayed ard for almost 2 hrs...i m so happy to know tat someone actually was oso looking for my work place to look for mi...but too bad she gt the wrong info from mi n cant find my place... sad sad lor =((

Today..cant gt to slp...as usual...always will tend to wake up at ard 9am...damn sian sia...pek chek lor...online till afternoon...meet up with my buddies for coffee...den wen to serangoon garden to have dinner...n to a pub...nice place...keke...a veri gd place to relax...drank abit liao next wen to prata house to have prata...keke...been eating the whole day liao...n next home sweet home...tml will have a long day to go...weekends always damn busy de...have to slp early liao...

I m so lost now...damn confuse...dun know wat shld i do next...it hurts alot...i know she is nt in mood recently...but i m forcing myself to heck care abt her things...i dun wan to console her anymore...it will juz hurt mi more...to her..i m juz a fren tat is willing to lend her a listening ear de...i really dun know how to continue tis entry le...will slowly update again...haiz...

2006-05-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my off day again...so shiok sia...have 3 off days tis week...as for desmond, he will be having his next week...keke...who ask company to owe us 2 off days each...n its time to let us rest n clear all our off days...n we still have quite alot of OT too...wahahaha...anyway for the day...meeting up a few old old de frens..keke...gt tons of catching up to do....n i have tons of own stuffs to do...i m so sleeply lor...didnt gt to slp last nite...keke...wen for my drinking sessions again...its been quite a time tat i didnt show my face at kel's hse le...they were so surprised to c mi there...had fun with them...its really a enjoyment to make them all drunk...*evil smile* later have to have my hair cut...den to the bank to change my cards...all broke into 2 liao...pro sia...den gt to go find my derrick korkor liao...he kept complaining tat he didnt c mi for quite a time le...den next is vee liao...he oso complain tat i m too busy...keke...omg!! today gt so many ppl to meet up with...but i wan to SLP!! keke...

2006-05-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

Maybe to give up, i wont be suffering tat much...dun meet u up den maybe u will still think of mi....u once said u will love mi forever...maybe juz becoz at tat time u have no confidence at all...i once ask u will u leave mi...but all i gt is slient...maybe at tat time u juz dun wan mi to face reality...u already know tat reality is cruel...dun need to hide wen u know it...i have to try to leave u....nt to think of u....to let mi feel beta but i know by doing all these will make mi miss u more...or all i wanted is juz tat u will think of mi....if u dream of mi, juz pls hug mi tight in yr dreams...i know our love is already a past...but till now i m still waiting...forever waiting...

Woke up damn early today...haiz...tired lor...n its my off day lei... =(( after today my nxt off day will be on fri...gt to work 3 days in a row...hmm...still ok ba...juz feeling veri weak...n aching all over...actually nt much to blog for the day...will be gg out with ed later...gt so much of catching up to do...keke...both of us can really chat non stop sia...ciao liao...

2006-05-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

Juz reached home nt long ago...n i m getting ready to go out soon...haiz...tired like siao but tat stupid james kept jio me to drink...i wanted to quit drinking liao lor...but in the end i gave in again...keke...now waiting for tat idiot to drive over...dun know how long he is going to take...#%&*@...keke...got to dress nicely la...den comb hair properly la...stupid idiot...haha...

As for the day...as usual..damn bz lor...n time flies really fast...blur till takes mi a veri long time to reply customer's questions...keke...after work wen to have supper with my colleagues...talked abt work again...sian 3/4...after supper...desmond wen clubbing with his frens...den both my managers wen home to accompany their wife...n mi?? haha...accompany sally jiejie to take bus...tat ger...really fantasic lor...she is damn small size lei but she can eat like nobody's business...one bowl of noodles...plus 5 chicken wings...n she still ask mi to buy her cakes to eat...wah...damn zai....high maintance ger...every day feed her with food tat she craves for can le...keke...gtg le...stupid idiot msg mi liao..byebye...

2006-05-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

Juz came back from work nt long ago...damn tired sia...still gt 3 more days to go den it will be my off day...cant even open my eyes liao...n today lei...gt so fed up with a customer till i almost threw my temper...i m so proud of myself recently...i can actually control my temper veri well liao...keke...hmm the whole story is tat he came in to buy a hp...sign up for a new line...n he opened up everything liao lor...haven paid de hor...n i helped him to fill up all the forms n in the end he said he dun wan liao becoz our shop dun accept VISA...WTF!! haiz was damn angry but managed to cool myself down...was both angry n upset ba...upset tat something happened to my buddy...argh!! waiting for her to cool down n contact mi ba...so speechless towards today...things r kept happening...its within my control...trying to let go of everything le...really gt to try hard liao...if nt i will really go crazy le...

Happy to know tat u r with him le...u had all along waiting to be with him...n it came true le...n most important thing is tat u r happy with yr decision...so wish u both all the best ba...

I m gg to rest in peace liao...ciao.. =))

2006-05-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

11/05/2006 - our 23rd mth anniversary...as a fren to wish her happy anniversary ba...23 mths of so much memories...sweet ones...painful ones...hurtful ones...touching ones...n blah blah blah...gt to realise something wen i m on my way back home...follow yr heart means fantasy...n follow yr mind means facing reality...things always dun turn out to be wat we wan...as for now i know clear wat i wan n wat im doing...i m staying put...nt moving on...no gers let mi feel the urge of getting into a r/s le...numb le ba...cant feel a thing anymore...haiz...

Actually tml is my off day de...but today desmond de mum walked past our shop...n we chatted...she kinda of saying desmond didnt gt off day n stuffs...n heard from desmond tat he wanted to have dinner with his family to celebrate mother's day de...so at the end of thye day...i juz told him tat i will be gg back to work tml...n juz let him off...gt to work 6 days in a row wor...tired si le... =(( have to slp super early tis few days liao...or else cant wake up wor...

At last wish "u" a happy happy 23rd mth anniversary...do take care...n u r missed by tigger ger wor... =)) n now its time to let mi rest in peace le...nitez...

2006-05-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Hmm...shld be a happy day de...but end up a pek chek day for mi....today work till siao...like nobody's business...finish one customer den continue another one...shiok lor...end work ard 10 plus...damn tired...n gt a veri happy news...2 of my close frens gt together...was teasing them over the fone...both of them is tat kind of shy shy type de so its fun disturbing them....keke...

Tot would end my day happily de...but in the end one of my budd is unhappy n the other one was pek chek...argh!!! n i ended up even more pek chek than the both of them...no mood to blog le...damn F***ING sian liao....haiz....close my eyes...let mi rest in peace....

2006-05-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

Juz woke up nt long ago...still veri tired n slply...its so stupid everytime off day will auto wake up de...but wen its working day...i cant seems to wake up...keke...will be a bz day...going to bugis later den evening got to meet up with edwin for dinner..its been quite a long time we didnt meet up le...got alot of catching up to do...keke...

Disappointment.hatred.lost.numb.
Tis is all i m feeling now...shall hold firm on wat i had already decided...for now or in future...whoever comes into my life will juz be a passerby...i dun need anyone to be in my train le...i dun need anyone to be with mi till the end of the journey....shall leave it...too disappointed to carry on...hate myself for being so stupid...lost for nt knowing which path to go...too numb to feel anything...

2006-05-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

Back at home le...had a veri bad nite...haiz...she threw her temper...n im juz letting her to throw all she wans...nth to say...once again...i m nt transparent...i know i shldnt have care so much...i know i shld keep a distance from u...but put yrself in my shoes...will u nt care?? will u keep a distance from someone u love?? it simply applies to everyone...i dun know if u still cares anot...but i can tell u i dun feel a thing...even my leg is dislocated...my buddies still called up everyday to console mi...to listen to my complains tat i have to stay at home...call up to check if i m still alrite...but u?? its all..."leg dislocated liao...dun go anywhere...juz stay at home to rest"...u know how longed i m to c u ma?? u know how much i misses u ma?? haiz...

Going back to work tml le...hopes everything will be fine again..hope i can manage to bury myself deep in my work ba....face reality?? no no...i will never never face it....take it or leave...

2006-05-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

Suppose to go over to the polyclinic today for a check up de but it was closed wen we reached there...we forgot today is a holiday....it was raining veri heavily lor...den i didnt slp at all...so i was wet n slply...no choice le...have to wait till next week den go back liao...i think after typing tis...will watch a pc of vcd den head to my lovely bed...gg to hug my tigger ger to slp...keke....

*As human beings, our most precious gift is freedom: to think for ourselves, to be who we want, and to live and share our lives with whom we want. But what really sets us apart is the ability to love and use our feelings for the greater good. This is both our greatest strength and greatest hope for the future - *

Gt tis from a website...www.loveandpride.com...guys go n take a look at it wen u r free...they r selling products for les n gays...design all nt bad wor...even Elton John gt his wedding rings from them wor...n i had too fallen in love with few of the designs...prices r still ok wor...hmm....

2006-05-05T15:40:00.000-07:00

For those who managed to hack my password de...tis is my personal blog...its my own privacy...pls ask mi for the password if u wan to read it...n nt hack it...i hate ppl doing it...if i m willing to let u read it of coz i will be giving u the password...all u need to do is to ask n nt hack...n one more thing...so wat the"her" is pearl?? so wat she is the one i all along had been i love with?? any comments?? den tag in my tagboard or msg mi lor...so wat if no one can replace her?? i think u all r so bo liao....its my own business...its my own life....i wan to love who hate who or waiting for who...oso like tat rite...its a path i had choose to walk...cant take it?? den shoo off...there's no need to come in n read my entries anymore....

Im so bored...going to bored to death le...can someone pls let mi go out...i need to breathe fresh air...keke...i had been staying at home for 3 whole days le...one more day to go sia...sian ar...i kept veri gain to eat shaker fries...even i had 2 packets last nite le...i still have to beg my er sao to buy it for mi...keke...in the end she gave in...haha...but still nt enough...i wan shake shake shake....keke...i m gg to throw my temper liao...cant go out...cant eat tis n tat...everyday 3 meals is juz porridge porridge n more porridge...its killing mi!!! cant taste outside de food...damn pek chek!! :'(

2006-05-04T19:12:00.000-07:00

Juz woke up from my afternoon nap...veri slply...becoz all those med...haiz...tis morning wen to polyclinic to c doc...didnt know tat its so serious...the doc suspected my bone is dislocated...i damn able to bear the pain lor...from ytd's morning till now...hmm...zai rite....gt 3 days mc in a row...actually today is desmond's off day de...n its his birthday too....but he still have to go back to work to replace mi...haiz i feel so bad lor...kept saying sorry to him...gt no choice rite? i didnt wan to be like tat de...its so boring to stay at home the whole day de lor...all i can do is to play games la...watch vcd la...chat with a few buddies...haiz...cant even step out of the hse....n now i so gain wan to eat shaker fries lor...but cant eat...in the end kana scolded.... :P sat morning still have to go back to polyclinic for appointment...tis morning i waited till pek chek...from 8 plus all the way till 12 plus in the afternoon...n while waiting....my leg kana stepped by a uncle den nxt a aunty...damn angry sia...still gt 2 more days to go...hmm...will i ren..be guai kai..stay at home?? keke...

I dun know how long i m able to take it...yr cold n hot attitude...sometimes u seems so caring but at times u dun even wan to bother...i know u r juz treating mi as a fren...but u oso knew tat i still love u...i look so idiot wen i talked to u n u juz reply a word or two...u dun seems interested...haiz...n as for tis time i didnt tell u my leg's bone had been dislocated becoz i know all u will said is ask mi to stay at home n take care...everything u said hurts...yr actions...i know i shldnt be angry...be sad or stuffs...becoz i m juz a fren to u...how i wish i can really stay far far away from u...dun know abt a single thing...dun read yr blog...dun chat with u...but i juz cant do it....

2006-05-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

At last its my off day today...had been feeling sick tis few days...totally no mood to work at all...plus all those emo feelings...so sian...last nite slept ard 2 plus...tot today can slp throu the day but in the end woke up all 11 plus...becoz of my stupid block nose...cant breathe...so no choice gt to wake up le...haiz...gums r in pain den the upper part of my mouth skins r peeling...damn pain lor...cant even chew my food properly...den leg is in pain too...cant even walk properly lor...sian sian sian...everyone is telling mi to rest at home but too bad i cant stay at home for too long de...off day die die must oso go out for awhile de...even its juz a hr or two...keke...naughty rite...wat to do?? dun go out will mad de....keke....think will be meeting "her" later...actually last nite was suppose to meet her up to take back my IC de....but she wanted to dye her hair so was cancel off...its been a few days i didnt saw her le...knew tat she is feeling down tis few days...so today will try my best to cheer her up abit ba...juz wan her to know tat at least tat's someone there for her n to care her...keke....

Specially to tat precious one:

All these precious moments with you by my side, i m thankful tat heaven had let mi found u...without u i dun know who i m...without u i wont have all those sweet n precious memories...i wont know if u r the one with mi till the end...but i promise i will be the one with u till the end...i know i cant do much le...i know i cant have u back le...but i believe if u r really mine...one day the miracle i hope for will appear....i will always be ard...keeping in slient...giving u moral support every now n then...tis i promise....gg to hide all my love for u deep down in my heart n live on with my life...as u will always be the onli one....

2006-05-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

Having veri veri bad mood swing tis few days...like my previous de entries all veri bad mood n stuffs..tis few days became worse...especially in the nite...i dun understand y...it all started on sat...we had tis new LG promoter for our outlet...actually almost every weekend they will send a LG promoter to our outlet to promote the hp de....wen i first saw her...i m juz thinking...haiz juz a normal simple gal...didnt talk veri much to her...was busy doing my stuffs...its a long weekend lor...n everyone have gt their "bonus"...so every hour my shop is like packed with human beings...keke...its until wen we knocked off...i accompany her to the train station as i m taking train to tpy too...meet up with pearl to RUSH...while on the way we chatted...n i somehow find her veri familiar...n i finally know y le...her birthday is on the 23rd of feb...n pearl's is on the 22nd of feb...both of them de character is so smiliar till i cant tahan lor...the way they talk...the way they think...the way they react...OMG!!! is exactly the same...haiz...

On sun...she kept let mi think of the past...i cant even focus on the work...i tried to bury myself in but she kept appear in front of mi....the way she talked to mi...the way she helped mi with my work...haiz...everything is the same....they r so alike....after work we both wen for supper at tpy lor 8...called eric to join us de but he is too sick to do so...so its only mi n her...i told her tat her character is so smiliar to my ex....n she juz smiled n said tat they have the same horoscope ma...n said tat Libra oso gt attracted to them de....keke...tis i agree wor.... =))

N today...everything is fine...gt to know brian n desmond like her...maybe its her actions n character ba...she is so funni lor....always do things tat u wont understand de....keke...after work...roy treated us to supper...frog legs porridge...at geylang...hmm...nice nice...keke...after supper tot of asking "her" out to have a bite de...but she was bz watching tv so didnt ask...aie...actually quite miss "her" de...but...haiz....time will heal ba....veri tired liao...gg to orh orh koon le...will update wen i m free!!

2006-04-28T01:28:00.000-07:00

Life had been sucky these few days...dun undertsand y...she kept poping up in my mind...n i cant seems to control it...in the past i still can forget abt her wen i bury myself in work...but now i cant do it...haiz maybe all those feelings in the past had came back le ba...

I really miss the time wen we met up on new year eve tis year...there's a period of time tat i missed most...till wen i return back from bangkok...everythings changes back to the past...everything is so sweet at tat time...so maybe wenever i m with her...every moment to mi is sweet de...sweet memories juz flashes back...to how i knew her...how we gt together...the first time i held her hands...the first time i hugged her tight to mi...the first time i kissed her....world maybe changing...everyone maybe changing including mi...but i m veri sure tat my feelings towards her will never change....

Ok...back to my normal life?? keke...working as usual...veri tired...but at least i kept finding programmes to entertain myself...keke....played guessing games with desmond n nic...den learn how to dance mambo from them...keke...on wed they both have a little show for mi...keke...they were standing juz infront of the shop n started to dance...keke...actually for work gt nth much to say de...i had a veri gd operation manager but somehow i still cant adapt to his working style...haiz...will try harder liao...hmm...the nxt few weekends will be damn busy lor...tis sat gg RUSH...den nxt fri gg Double O to celebrate jas's bday...den sat gg to celebrate desmond's bday...n den another sat which is the 13th will be gg to RUSH to celebrate devil's bday...argh...dun know if i can tahan anot...so much programmes to go....HELP!! =p

2006-04-25T01:24:00.000-07:00

Down-JJ Lin jun jie

I cant believe it Tell me i'm dreaming
That we are still "we"?
It was amazing Said you were lucky
That you found me
It was a rainy day that we met
You didnt have a place to go
I said we just met so lets go slow but no
You just told me to keep you from the cold

Sorry i cant take it
Why did u fake it Why did we kiss
And i'm just down
You left me with a note without a sound
I figured i must have been such a child
You'll never know how much i've been around
How my heart just frowns

If you're down
I'll be your teddy bear, i'll be your clown
I'll take you round and round and
If you dont mind i could be your standing ground
Even if that means i'd drown

And baby, that'll be my one last vow
..............................................................................................................................................................

I guess i m having depression tis few days...i m throwing my temper ard...tears juz kept flowing wen the nite comes by...there no way i can control it...i trying all my best to put on a smile but somehow tots juz kept flooding my mind even wen i m damn bz with my work...they kept running inside mi...n i simply hate tis kind of feelings.....

Was chatting with ed wen i m on my way hm...i envy him tat he is with vv but den he told mi he is suffering more than mi...haha...he said i had really found tat someone i really love....she is already rooted deeply in my heart...i wont gt lost anymore...i had found my rite one!! haha...maybe at his view, he might be rite...but as for mi...i m suffering...so wat i had found tat someone?? to her i m juz like one of her close buddies...will be there wen she needs mi...listen to her complains...listen to how she comments on those shuai guys...lend a shoulder wen she needs one...let her to throw temper on...haiz...come on....i m oso a human being...i too have feelings...especially wen its u!! everyone is saying tat i m nt trying hard to forget everything n face the reality...i did try lor...but is there any use?? its a big NO lor...i tried getting into a new r/s...den how?? in the end still the same...broke up becoz i know no one can replace her....in future i might have a new gf but she will still be the only one i love...i forced myself nt to contact her...i forced myself nt to meet up with her...so tat i wont gt hurt...so tat my love for her will nt fall more deeply...but everything seems to be turing upside down....i miss her even more....i cant control my fingers nt to press her number...i cant control my fingers nt to send a msg to her....why cant i gt out of her shadow??

I juz dun have tat kind of feelings anymore...i cant seems to be happy with another person...i can t bring myself to love another person...so in order nt to hurt myself n another person...i decided to stay where i m now...nt gg to move on in the near future...

Juz like the lyrics i had typed above...i can be tat teddy bear to let u beat n scold wen ur feeling down...to let u hug wen u needed one...i can be tat clown to make u laugh...to make u happy...

I m feeling so weak...i wan to stop breathing...i wan to stop all those tots from coming into my mind...i wan to stop regretting....i wan to stop loving...i wan to stop missing....I WAN TO STOP EVERYTHING!!! i wan to stop everything on tat day...11062004...the day i asked u to be my ger.....

2006-04-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

Life had been hard tis few days....things had been happening...my work is damn stress....my elder bro moved back with us last nite....didi's work oso damn stress n tired....haiz...althou so much things had happened i still try to manage a smile or try to feel happy...at least gt to know a few new frens...all damn crappy...every weekend will gt to know new frens....they came over to my outlet to have roadshow...so work n crap ard....keke....

Haiz gt to learn how to control my temper properly...control my bad mood...i still have to make ppl smile n happy wen they r unhappy or pek chek...keke....had been playing alot of games recently...pangya everynite...trying to level up....trying veri hard sia but i only have a few hrs to play a day...so gt to take a veri long time liao....gt to ciao le...free den blog again....

2006-04-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

Hmm...recently had been veri busy...no time for myself at all...damn tired...off day oso fully booked...no time to even breathe...working time is like 9 plus in the morning i have to wake up n gt ready le...den left home ard 10am...reach amk ard 10.30am...do some area cleaning n start to do sales liao...work n work till 3 plus 4 den have lunch...after tat continue like a cow lor...all the way till 9 plus 10...almost everyday OT lor...up to 10 plus sia...but luckily almost everynite i have a driver to drive mi home...i dun need to drag myself all the way home...i gt to do alot of homework liao...gt to brush up on my product knowledge...manager said i m weak at tat...n everynite still gt to do homework till late in nite...haiz....

Off day more worse...tot can rest but still have to go for hp training la...den my stuffs la...den catching up with frens la...vee had been complaining tat she haven been chatting with mi or meet mi up for a veri long time liao....wat to do?? i m so bz everyday...training la...work la...stress la...paperwork la....tis n tat...cant even stop for a sec to think wat i can have for lunch lor...they always help mi to make decision on lunch...24hrs in totally nt enough for mi now...i need at least 48hrs per day...HELP!!!

2006-04-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

I will never never stop loving u...
I did try to stop loving as its a suffering for mi but still i cant seems to be letting u go....
U had a place in my heart...
A place tat no one will ever replace...
U r the only one tat can make mi go crazy...
Make mi happy...
I will love u no matter how u treat mi...
Will love u deep down in my heart...
Will love u till the veri veri end...
I love U...

2006-04-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

Lin Jun Jie-now that she's gone

Girl you know i miss you so
I didnt know you had to go
You've had enough of our distance baby

Before i had the chance to say
I'm staying with you
For the rest of my life

Dont keep telling me these words
You dont know how much it hurts
And i'll promise you eternity
If you promise me your stay
But now it's too late
I'm no longer the man that i was

I will go on without her
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wings
A fire without its flame

I dont know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song

This is our song without a soul
Now that you're gone
What's left of us in this song
...........................................................................................................................................................

Guys go listen to tis song ba...i find the lyrics veri meaningful...or maybe towards mi ba...somehow he sings out my feelings....especially the part where it goes "i dun know how to be strong wen my love has to move on"....haiz....there's no way i can make the time turn back....i still have to move on....

2006-04-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

Didnt blog for days le...actually had alot of things to blog de but somehow my mind juz gone blank le...cant really think wat to blog...hmm...tis few days had been busy with my work...from the moment the shop open till close, i wont even have a single min to think abt my personal stuffs...the feelings r quite great becoz yr mind wont run wild...all u can think of r all hp's features n nth else...althou is really veri tiring for my body n mind but at least i can shake off all those r/s things first...wont bother r/s things at the moment...now all i know is to fight hard for money...wahahaha....

Tis week...mon was working...tues off...n mon nite i didnt slp at all...till tues morning ard 7 plus den slp...woke up ard 10 plus....grab some food eat liao den bathe n changed....wen down to HDB hub to sign a document for my flat de...den pei mummy for lunch...no choice...sometimes must show my face to let her c...or else she will be saying tat i had disappeared again...keke....after lunch den to bishan to get lunch for da xiao jie (pearl)....wen over to her place...n i fall aslp...keke...i think slept till ard 4 plus ba...den waited for her to bathe n change....always the same de la...waited till my neck became long....she is always so slow....bathe la...den decide on wat to wear la...den wear contact lens la...make-up la...haiz gers r always like tat...waited till i almost fall aslp again...keke....den left her hse...n head for PS...there a This Fashion there...pei her shop till i really drop sia...wait for her to chose den try...argh!! =X left PS ard 8 plus...den wen over cini to buy tickets for Ice Age 2....after buying wen dinner at long john(my fav)....0925pm show started le...watched till ard 11pm ba...den wen to play pool n den sent her home...haiz...da xiao jie nt in mood so didnt dare to disturb her...sent her home liao den i walked back home...hmm...power rite from bishan to toa payoh...my legs going to break into 2 pcs lor...keke....reached home ard 1 plus...den slack ard before going to bed...

N as for today nth much lor...was sick...so abit stone stone de...nt enough slp ba....den whole day no form no mood...roy kept stressing mi...argh!! luckily nic played R&B the whole day for mi to listen or else i can really drop dead liao...keke....n after work wen st8 back home...here i m typing my entry..keke...dun feel slply at all...keke...going crazy liao!!!

2006-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hmm...its been a few days i didnt blog liao...hands abit itchy today...so decided to blog...reached home ard 6 plus in the morning...ytd worked like hell...morning n afternoon no customer de lor...give flyers till i siao siao...luckily gt tat ah beng beside my shop...switched on techno songs for mi...in order to keep mi awake...oh tat ah beng is call nicholas...anyway back to sales...den in the nite last min all customers came in...do until i siao...gt work...no work oso siao...keke...closed shop ard 10pm...took bus home...den slack abit...till 2 plus (mid nite)...da xiao jie (pearl pearl) wans to eat cheese prata...den i walked from toa payoh to bishan...keke...from 2.30am to ard 3am...reached her place...quite fast wor...break record...c so gd rite?? where to find a fren like mi?? feel like eating cheese prata den pei her go...nt feeling gd...or bad mood...den go pei her chit chat...keke...abit BHB liao....but true ar... :P ok...after prata she feels like having nuggets...den walked over to a 24hrs Mac...but too bad they only serve breakfast liao...so cant eat...in the end had iced lemon tea...den chit chat till ard 5 plus 6 ba...den i took a bus home...now chatting with her in MSN again...keke....n we having a bet...c who can tong a longer time without slp...keke...lame rite...but gt to c who is a beta owl ma...keke...

Today is a busy day for mi wor...later in the afternoon have to go back to Optical 88's HQ to talk abt the hougang's shop things...den later in the eveing will be gg out...tis week haven past but i m already fully booked nxt week...keke...so many catching ups to do...shall end here liao...will blog again wen i m free...ciao liao!!!

2006-04-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

Haiz...early morning gt to sigh liao...so many things r happening...dun know wat to do...n i cant help too...only to console..haiz...was listening to a song juz now...it says tat in love...its always unfair...n i find it quite true...if u did yr part as a partner den yr partner doesnt do the same thing...u will find tat its unfair...becoz u gave out so much n all she did is to take n didnt give u any...hmm...but if i try to lower down my expectations...i will still find it unfair...becoz she still didnt did her part in tis r/s...she will never know how much u love her...as love cant be measured...how deeply u r in love is equals to how deeply u will be hurted...no matter how strong u had act in front of others...u r juz cheating yrself...yr heart, soul n love can only be given to one person...dun fall in love with another person wen u know u r still living in the past...u will hurt even more ppl...learn to love yrself first before loving others...n last thing...no thing is fair in tis world...learn to take some n give some....

Ok..now back to myself le...been working like a cow tis few days...all i can say i the same thing...tired n stress...n today finally after 6 days of work...its my off day le...decided to slack at hm...till i happy den go out walk walk....my next off day will be on fri le...nt so bad la...work for 2 days den off again...keke...tml there's a newcomer coming..but its a guy...chay...keke...anyway to mi now is work first...gt to work harder than anyone else....shall stop here le...gg back to my lovely bed liao...keke...ciao!!

2006-04-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Wahaha...here to type a short short de entry to say wat had ahppened tis 2 days...ytd morning wen back to HQ for hp product knowledge...whole morning was playing with LG hp...till afternoon wen lunch...2 plus wen back n we were told to go over to AMK's new outlet...so wen dowm...do area cleaning n blah blah blah...till ard 7pm...we sat down n had dinner...roy teach us abt hp's price while eating...haiz...wan to have dinner quietly oso cannot...stress ar...after dinner roy continued training us abt hp's price n features...all the way till 9.30pm...roy told mi he is looking for a new staff...asked mi gt any frens wan to work...so decided to call elaine...n roy juz asked her to go over HQ on monday n wen Nelly c her n she can start work le...wah i was damn shock lor...my face gt so big ar?? hmm...anyway elaine will be working with mi le...

Today the outlet is offically open le...hmm...wish mi luck wor...today's target is 10 sets of new hp sia...haiz...we r new bird lei...AMK is so big...so much hp shop...all old bird de...how to fight?? but still gt to try our best liao...or maybe i can ask desmond to strip dance...keke...he gt a gd body wor...i think tats enough le...keke...oh ya...back to ytd....after work...roy drove mi home...n i rush to bathe n changed...gt to go down to RUSH...one of pearl's fren birthday...sian sia...dun intend to go de but no choice la...reached home ard 3.30am...bathe liao straight away knock off le....n damn tired...tis few days had been going for training n studying..haiz...nt enough slp sia....hope my off day will come earlier...keke...ciao le....bye...

2006-03-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

Here to blog again..keke...hmm...find tat had been blogging almost everyday wor...seems like nth to blog but hands still veri itchy lei...juz feel like typing down wat had happened today...keke...as usual lor...wen training today...brain juice all dry up liao...gt so many things to learn sia...for those who think its a veri easy job...aiya juz recommend customer hp lor..den write few words la...to register for new line...den collect money n blah blah blah...i can tell u its nt tat easy lor...its more than wat u all c lor...tml lei...working from 11am to 0930pm sia...tired ar...haiz....its nt easy!!

Luckily i still have a veri gd fren to listen to my complains n always cheer mi up...keke...always crap with mi after my work...den msg mi during training to ask mi jia you!! keke...nt bad sia...still gt tis kind of fren...will treasure her alot alot de...keke...(u shld know who u r ba) *wink*

Been having sore eye for 2 days liao...pain sia...cant even open my bloody eye...haiz...sian sian sian...today gt to know a new colleague...i think will be working with him ba...nt a bad guy...veri crappy...1 yr younger than mi wor...keke...we had been crapping together the whole day liao...n after training, on my way home, he still msg n crap with mi...siao kai!! keke....n for now...i m doing to do my homework liao...gt to do research n read up more on hp features...so many different models in market lor...haiz have to take how long to finish everything up?? i m gg crazy liao...HELP!!!

2006-03-30T19:34:00.000-08:00

Juz came back from my training...mentally damn stress lor..haiz...gt so much things to remember...tis morning wen for the samsung training with amber...saw a few new hp tat is nt offically out yet de..hmm...all veri nice...have their own unique features...starting to know tat hp shop doesnt only sell hp lor...n there is more...alot of other things to learn...one step at a time ba...

Forgot to tell u guys, i cut off my bluee fringe liao.. =(( wat to do wor..gt to work...today after my training took a bus home...acutally my mood was quite alrite de...was crapping with my budd before aboard the bus...after hung up le...i was listening to my discman...n the song is nt sad song wor...but somehow my heart felt veri sad...n tears juz flowed down freely...till now i still dun understand...my tears juz flowed till i reach my hse blk...haiz...now is still ok...but at tat time, i juz felt tat someone out there is veri sad...veri moody...on the edge of crying...tat someone's heart is in pain...i juz hate it wen i can feel all tis...haiz....

Going to take a rest soon...veri tired ar...last nite wen coffee with james at orchard...till 3 plus den reached home...wanted to slp de but in the end still wen out le...so today lei...gt to forbid myself to go out...if continue to go out, i can drop dead liao.....c u guys...

2006-03-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Reached home ard 6 plus juz now...damn tired sia...today whole day outdoor training..keke...but had alot of fun with roy(my trainer)....today is on customer service n products knowledge...hmm...gt to do alot of homework sia...gt to study on different hp de features...hmm...how to start lei?? there r so many brands n models...gt to slowly ba..keke...

As for tml lei, i m going for a samsung training with amber...keke...there's a new model out in the market so gt to go n c wat features they have for tat hp...hmm...i m juz like a newborn baby...gt to learn everything from the starting...stress stress stress...roy only gave mi 3 days to gt ready...haiz...headache ar...will try my best ba...i m so in love with hp now...keke...

Kelvin had gone to japan le...no more driver for the rest of the 2 weeks...no more beer liao...actually he passed mi his keys to his house de but den i didnt take...keke...not gd la...he nt ard den i go over sure turn his room upside down de...keke...luckily he will be away for 2 weeks n i can take a gd break..keke... mentally n physically veri tired n stress liao...aching all over n mind had stop thinking...now gt to stop blogging le...gg to take a rest liao...

2006-03-28T22:10:00.000-08:00

*if i knew it would hurt so much in the end, i wish i never met u...*

Was chatting with edwin abt it...i was telling her if we didnt met the person we love so deeply, i think we wont be so xin ku now...n she agreed n disagreed with mi...agreed becoz its something tat we hope...didnt met them den at least we wont be so unhappy now...disagreed becoz if we didnt met them, we wont have so much so much of sweet memories...at least once we r happy before...

But somehow the pain in my heart...the pain tat once had almost killed mi...had became a numb feelings...i cant feel a single thing...i know tat the pain is still in there but no more tears...nth at all...

Everything seems so unstable...everything is on the rocks...i almost gave in to kelvin...i really dun know wat i m doing...he can give mi watever i ask for but only love is tat he cant give mi...budds tat r close to mi shld know the reason...remember tat nite juz makes my hair stands...haiz...

Tml starting my new job le...out of optical line liao...n i m into hp now...keke...so sick of playing with specs liao...hmm...will be having my training at amk from wed to fri...den on sat i will be at novena sq...keke...hope all the colleagues r as crappy as my ex colleagues...keke...know mi well de shld know i always take my work place as a playground...keke...play as i work...den wont feel so sian ma....think shld stop here liao...will update soon...ciao!!

*my tears juz flowed down wen i think of u*

2006-03-26T04:35:00.000-08:00

I felt so stupid...so guilty...after blogging the previous entry tis morning, i wen out le...wen over to kel's house till 9 plus in the morning den reached home...after i reached home i den know tat my dog (rina) had been admitted to the hospital...one side of her eye is blind...haiz...i m like so busy the whole day...only care to enjoy myself...wen out den rush home, changed le den wen out again...i didnt even notice tat she wasnt at home...

Its so funni...i shldnt have care...i shldnt feel guilty...becoz i m suppose to heck care everything...but i felt guilty n stupid for nt paying enough attention to her....leave it ba...no feelings...nothing...my heart is so numb to feel a single thing...i hate it!!
......................................................................................................................................................................

Back home nt long ago...tired sia...super super tired...waiting for kel's call...gg over to his place...drink drink plus mahjong session...today lei...wen out with my budds...wen window shopping den coffee at coffee bean...from 6pm chatted till 8pm sia...so much to talk wenever we meet...keke...after tat rush home to change...den go over to RUSH...tonite didnt really dance much...my gastric was in pain...from ytd till now le...eat food...no use...eat med oso no use...haiz...sian 1/2...i wasnt in mood tonite...anger n attitude is with mi the whole nite...i feel like finding a punching bag sia...everything is upside down...but WHO CARES?? i m juz letting everything to be le...tat's it...

No need to say sorry to mi wen things r already done...if u all think wat u all did is correct n u all r happy with it den go ahead...i dun think i have the rite or the power to stop u all...somehow tat's life...u gain some n u will lose some....

Wen i need u, u r always nt ard mi...n wen u have probs, i will always try my best to be the first to arrive...is tis fair??

*ITS JUZ MI N MY FUCKING ATTITUDE...TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT*

2006-03-25T02:25:00.000-08:00

Haha...wat m i gg to blog in the mid of the nite?? hmm..at kel kel de hse now...everyone is drinking like siao...as for mi lei...hands itchy liao so came here to type a stupid entry...keke...dun know wat's wrong with kel today...open his beloved chivas for us to drink...(he kept it for years liao) keke....den before he came over to fetch mi...he bought geylang's frog leg porridge(my fav) n Mac for mi to eat(i 2 days didnt eat any food le)...as usual la...he scolded mi till die die sia...u insisted tat i finish everything...keke...how to sia? so much of food so in the end i share it with the rest of the kakis...the rest of the kakis r like 7th mth de ghost :x i eat till full liao lor but they still can finish everything up n now they r eating junk food...zai lor...i dun even dare to drink ar...scare vomit everything out... :p

Piggy wen chalet to celebrate her belated birthday le...threw mi alone...haiz...last nite i was still msging her abt the jealous things...there r so much ppl chasing after her...n i was asking her tat she wont scare i might gt jealous ma...n she said she know i will gt jealous over tis kind of stuffs becoz she herself will oso gt jealous de...keke...lamo piggy la...always do werid werid things n say nonsense...but for now jealous still ok la...i m season to share my piggy with all her "beloved" frens le...keke...frens r more impt than mi sia...she really veri zai lor...can throw mi one side juz becoz her frens de...keke...hmm...i m starting to complain liao wor...wen piggy read my tis entry sure gg to nag nag de...sometimes u r so sweet but at times u r so cool...which side of u shld i like more lei?? keke...anyway enjoy yrself wor...happy belated birthday!!!

Tonite de entry will be abit long becoz i decided to MIA for a few days...i quited my job today...n its only the second day lor...haiz...some personal reasons ba...so tis whole week i will be resting...next sat will start my new job...dun ask mi abt specs anymore...as i m no longer in optical line le...shall reveal my new job on next sat ba...tis few days i wont blog le...wont be gg online le...guys anything can msg mi wor...but dun call...n i think i wont reply the msges unless its urgent ba....

There's 2 great budds i have to thks de...recently both of them had been ard mi wen i m in bad mood...both of them really help out all le..thks for consoling mi...i had been giving attitude n complaining to u both...sorry wor...especially one of them...she had been msging everyday to check out on mi...she is juz like my mum...keke...she is the one tat said to luv is xin fu de...as u wont be lost at all...keke...u know who u r le....sorri to made u all worry for mi le....i will be fine after my MIA period ba.... =))

I m bloody pissed off today...too much things had been happening recently...i cant take too much blows le...since i can give up on myself...why nt the rest?? till now i still cant really cool myself down...did i really did everything wrong?? wat's wrong wen i handle things in my own way?? i give on up myself till i dun even know wat i m doing le...i m juz like a cold-blooded animal...

*Selfish is equal to cruel to others*

2006-03-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

Wahaha...here to blog blog le...i think recently i will only have the time to blog in the morning liao...keke...same thing la...reached home nt long ago...gg to bathe n change soon...gt to work liao...tired tired ar....ytd was my first day at work...hmm...still ok la...did area cleaning for half of the day den the rest is standing ard looking ard slacking ard...n 9pm le...its time to off work le...keke...after work...wen to lavender to wait for dear...waited for an hr...she have her police training n tat's the only time we can meet up...haiz so ke lian rite....anyway take a train den a bus to send her home...after tat i took a bus back home...wen home to changed n do my own stuffs...kel came over ard 1 plus...the rest u all shld know wat happened de la...no need to say liao...everything as usual...keke....

One of my budd n i was chatting abt life n love...n she sent mi a msg...here goes

Budd: Cant say u. i also actually now den i realise it is a xin fu to luv a person more than e person luv u. cos u wont b lost n living each day more meaningful.

True to luv a person is more xin fu becoz u know wat u wan n stuffs...u wont lost the way but so wat?? u may luv tat person but doesnt mean tat person will love u too...so its like back to square one...n if u didnt wan to give up, u have to wait for her...n waiting is the most miserable part...look at her, there's nth u can do...nth u can say...if she have a bf is more worse...haiz...n how long u wan to wait?? 1 year 2 years...5 years?? or even 10 years?? or maybe even she gt married...haiz...TO LUV A PERSON IS NT XIN FU....ITS XIN KU...

N i was telling her, i really heck care abt the things tat r happening ard mi le...there r so many probs poping up n there's nth u can to abt it juz sit there n watch things to happen...i dun have the energy to move on...dun have any energy to stop anything from happening....my budd was saying tat i recently have been giving attitude but wat to do...i m juz like before...to give attitude...look beng...heck care...all these is wat gary project on others...i gt to say sorry to ppl tat i had been giving attitude...but tat's mi le...if u r nt happy with mi den never mind...i wont say a single thing...n u can jolly fuck off le!!! i dun need anyone to tell mi all those da dao li anymore...CIAO!!!

2006-03-23T09:27:00.000-08:00

Going off to work soon...first day at work wor....i m so tired...reached home ard 8am sia...wen rush last nite...one of the fren birthday...n in the end everyone turn up except her...keke...zai lor...asked everyone to go but she's the one nt there...anyway...dance throu the nite....alot of things had happened...shall nt mention it here le...haiz...i hate it wen u tell mi all those.... =((

After rush wen to had a drink with jace they all...reached home ard 4am...den hurry wen to changed n stuff...n wen st8 to bed...half an hour later my hp rang...its kelvin...he came over to drove mi over to his place...he having bad mood ar...so wen pei him to drink...n he sent mi home ard 7 plus...n waiting for his car to sent mi to car....keke...wish mi all the best ba guys....

I m tat stubborn...no one can ask mi to stop doing things or to do things in yr ways...i know i m still living in my own fantasy world but i juz love it in my own ways...dun juz mi to face reality anymore...as for reality is cruel to mi...n i hate all those feelings....juz leave it or take....

2006-03-22T12:36:00.000-08:00

Haha...gg to blog wat happen tis few days...had been slacking...in the day is like nite to mi...the is like day to mi...have been eating supper too...haiz...cannot liao...must cut down le...or else pearl is going to say my meat ball is coming out...keke...juz reached home nt long ago....had another stupid nite with kel n kakis.....wen over kel's place ard 4 plus den played game n drink my beer...at ard 6 plus 7...kel drove us to the near by 24hrs Mac to eat breakfast...keke...everyone ate breakfast with the steam steam face...keke....after tat everyone left le n i wen back to kel's place to slp...too tired le...ard 11am he drove mi home le....

As for today lei...will be gg to take a nap later ba...den gg to meet dear ard 4 plus...haiz...can only meet for an hr...she is gg to have dinner with her frens...anyway 1 hr is enough le ba....after tat gg to meet pearl...gg toa payoh to change contact lens n in the nite is Rush nite...a fren is celebrating her birthday there...so muct give face lor...will be damn tired ar...becoz of some reasons i didnt push back the date for starting the new job le...n tml i will be starting le...dun know if i can wake up tml ma...later stone stone face go work again...keke....shall end here le ba...will blog soon...ciao!!

2006-03-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

Thks for walking into my life....its a day tat i will never forget...the day tat u agree...the day tat u hugged mi tight...the day tat u hold my hands...

I cant promise to give u anything but i promise to make u happy n smile everyday...i will try to bring all yr worries away....hope there's more 20th for us...20th march 2006....happy birthday wor, Mrs Woon....

Mr & Mrs Woon.....

2006-03-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

Backie for my 3rd part of librans...keke...n as for the day...hmm...reached home ard 9 plus in the morning...wen drinking with my kakis...keke...den online...had been doing my blogskin...i kinda of love my tis new blogskin...erm...veri simple...n i love black as the background....keke...

Appearance
The Typical Libra man

is usually handsome, but is never ugly
has a fine bone structure n balanced features
has a clear n veri charming voice
dresses with discrimination in subtle colours
is usually graceful n athletic
likes to check his appearance in mirrors or as he passes a shop window

Behaviour n personality traits

is veri keen to make a visual impression tat is appropriate to the task in hand, whether it be an international conference, a romantic assignation or a day on the beach
gives advice freely
is interested in the opposite sex, at all ages
is a master in the art of romance
is veri trustworthy
can be fickle n change his mind often
is interested in the facts of a situation so tat he can come to a balanced decision
enjoy art n needs harmony
can be lavish with money, spending it on things tat will bring happiness
has financial abilities

To libra, love is all. He or she tends to fall in love with love itself, n is eager to share life with the partner. The libran ideal is a life tat is filled with the peaceful, rosy glow of romance. Libra in love will have many of the characteristics listed below.

Behaviour wen in love

is emotionally dependent upon the partner
is casual n easy-going
enjoys romantic settings
will ignore the partner's shortcomings in return for love
does not want a partner who is overly demonstrative
glows with love for the whole world
will do anything to avoid hurting the loved one
gives the loved one complete attention

Expectations

to be supported n cared for
faithfulness n loyalty
to be free to get on his or her work
a partner to have his or her own separate interests
to be amused
to be admired n even exalted

The end of an affair
If a libra is rejected, he or she is initially demoralized. However, the libra quickly takes action to try to redress the balance tat has been lost. Often the libra will do everything to charm the loved one again, courting the partner as if for the first time. If the rejection is final, the hurt libra will disguise the pain he or she feels by searching once more for true love.

Part 3 is mainly on appearance n love de...shld blog my part 4...think tat will be the last part le...some r quite true...especially the end of an affair part...hmm...keke...will be back...

2006-03-19T23:59:00.000-08:00

Back to post the 2nd part of Librans...but said wat i had done today first...actually meeting someone for lunchh de but in the end slept the whole day didnt wake up at all....hp kept on ringing but i didnt pick up...keke...too tired le....only woke up to eat n wen toilet...keke...zai sia...my cousin came over to spore few days ago...will be gg back to thai soon...hmm...i wont be starting my new job next week...i had push it back le....c how ba....ok now part 2 of librans le...

Secret Libra
Inside anyone who has strong libran influences is a person who is terrified of being alone. The fear is usually well controlled so the typical libra always looks calm, collected and in charge of the situation. Good-natured n loving, libras can also be petulant, n even objectionable, when asked to take orders. Similarly, they are extremely intelligent, yet sometimes gullible; they enjoy taqlking to ppl, yet can oso be veri attentive listeners.

The libra symbol (the scales) is a clue to understanding tis apparent inconsistency in behaviour. In the attempt to gain an even balance, the scales first tip one way n den the other. Tis is how the typical libra behaves-constantly trying to attain tat perfect balance.

The libran look
Ppl who exhibit the physical characteristics distinctive of the sign of libra r nt easy to describe, since there is no typical libran feature, except for the dimple. It is a libran habit to spend time deciding wat to wear each morning, n to change clothes during the day if the occasion demands it.

Physical Appearance

Features r generally well balanced
Face is pleasant, even wen angry
May be a dimple in the chin, cheeks or knees
Charming smile

There is still quite alot more...shall finish it them by tml ba...gg back to my bed again...keke...tired tired tired....keke...ciao!!

2006-03-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

Juz came back nt long ago...damn slply n tired...but i cant seems to be able to slp...having hangover....haiz....stone stone de....last nite ard 9 plus 10 started to drink at home le....had my first round...was already half drunk...wen out ard 10 plus...took bus down to edwin's place...1hr bus journey sia...i was damn stone in bus...cant even sit properly le....reached her place ard 11 plus...waited elaine at 7-11...haiz...dun understand...the few of us always gt veri bad mood on the same day de...elaine was sad over r/s...chit chat with her while waiting for ed....it took ed a damn long time to reach lor...wen 7-11 to gt drinks for the vodka...den coffeeshop to gt prata to eat...n wen back to ed's place...slacked ard den had prata with her...n start n drinking session again...actually while waiting for elaine i had already glup down some le...was already quite high...anyway i found tat my drinking skills had improved alot lor...keke...thks to tat bloody kelvin who trained mi out....i was like drinking non stop...ed only drank one cup n she stopped le...i drank till ard 4 am in the morning den stopped...keke...zai ar...den wen to slp for awhile...woke up ard 8 plus...n i juz wen home...stupid edwin is still slping...keke....maybe will be slping later ba...anyway i m nt slply now....tonite i think will be having round 2 with kelvin n kakis ba...gt to drink till siao before start work...once start work cant drink le...keke....

Thks everyone...whoever talked to mi on the fone or pei mi throu all these nites de...thks...dun worry wor...i will be alrite soon...juz let mi be for tis few days...let mi be stupid...let mi be childish...n let mi cry till my tears dry up ba...i will be ok de...i know my own limits...u all can fang xin la...

Libra 23 sept-22 oct

Characteristics

Positive

Cooperative
Good companion
Artistic
Refined
Has clear opinions
Good negotiator
Very strong beliefs
Loving n romantic
Sense of fair play
Sincere
Charming
Communicative
An excellent mediator

Negative

Narcissistic
Indolent or sulky
Fearful
Indecisive
Manipulative
Overbearing
Flirtatious

Hmm...quite true wor...n tis is only one of the part i blogged...shall continue later in the nite...going to orh orh koon first...later meeting someone for lunch le...ciao!!

2006-03-18T13:12:00.000-08:00

18th of March...keke....abit crazy today...overhang liao...last nite drank too much le....limited myself de but in the end still gt drunk....keke...ok la not so bad...gt drunk at home...i can juz drop dead on my lovely bed.....i drank up all my absolut kurant...keke...half a bottle...drank 2 cups with rootbeer..keke...den the rest was juz with ice...at ard 2am was totally knocked off le...keke...going to continue my drinking sessions tonite...oh my...how m i gg to kick my drinking habits off?? keke...never!!! :P

Woke up ard 9am...head spinning like crazy...now quite ok le but gg crazy..keke...dyed my hair on thurs...ash grey..but turn out to be black...nt really black la...juz tat the grey is veri dark...i look so guai sia....keke...but i always m ar...haha....ytd was my last day at work...slacking the whole day...playing ard with kelvin n xiong xiong...keke...xiong xiong cant stand mi sia...kept plucking his hand's hair...LOL....anyway had a fun day in store...after work wen to had dinner den wen home le....recently had been veri engross in my games....everynite played till siao...but last nite was like in hell....haiz....

Wen u r deeply in love with a person...will u stick to him/her no matter how bad he/she treats u?? will u love him/her till the end or juz forgive n forget to move on with someone else?? will u continue to love him/her wen u know its impossible between the both of u?? everyone has different views on tis matter...as for mi...if i m really deeply in love with someone...i will stick to her side no matter how bad she is treating mi....but i will try to forgive n forget to move on....will continue to love her deep down in my heart wen i know its impossible....or maybe i will live under her shadow...last nite discussed abt tis topic with my budds...they were asking mi to ba ai fang ka ba shou fang ka....*sigh* to say is so easy to do is always tat hard....but at least i know i m much more beta now than a few mths ago....few mths ago was like hell....n as for now...i still feels jealous...anger is still in mi....but at least after awhile i will be alrite le...or maybe drinking did help too...today woke up le...feels much much more beta than last nite...control...endure...i have to gt everything over....by means n ways...i m gonna to throw everything away!!!

2006-03-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

Morning morning...wokr up ard 8 plus...cant really gt to slp at all...the pain is killing mi...the gastric is back to haunt mi...argh!! anyway tml will be my last day of work le...n today i still gt an MC...keke....no choice wor...ytd after work wen to have Carl's Jr....n den played pool....actually wanted to go over to devils de but i m totally broke...so guai guai go home le....the pain is killing mi wen i reached home...mummy actually wanted to send mi to 24hrs clinic de but i didnt wan to...so ended up lying on my bed n watched vcd....i m watching The Outsiders again...tis is my 5th time repeating tis show le...keke...i hate to go home early...sure there's probs poping up de n ended up quarrelling with tat stupid idiot...mummy even have to wake up from her slp to break the both of us up...i m damn pissed off....wanted to go out de...but cant find kelvin n the pain is terrible...so guai guai stayed in my room le....

Kel i know wat u r trying to say...but u shld know how i feel too...u have yr life to lead n i have mine...two different paths...2 hearts beat for 2...it can never beat as 1...sorry....but u r still foreva my budd de...keke...tc wor...

There r so many ppl walking in n out of our life...u wont know who will stay or who will go the next min...treasure every single one who had walked into yr life....life is only for once...u threw it away tis time..there wont be a second time le....as for now i m having a veri hard time in life...my lowest point of life...but i m forcing myself to think in a happi way...live to the fullest...be it happy or sad...we still have to carry on...so why not juz carry on with a smile on the face....u maybe sad down in u but yr smile on the face had already made ppl ard u smile too....i find tat life is so meaningless....there's nth much for mi to do but i know i still have the ability to make ppl ard mi happy...n tat's enough le.... =))

i m starting my new job next thurs le...so tis few days gg to chiong till i drop...keke...gg to discuss abt the new shop with edwin soon...tis time i die die oso wan to gt tis shop open...den next gt to fight for my commission for my new job...will work till i go siao...keke...one week only one day off lor...haiz...but never mind...gt to fight for money ar....den next will be my car license...tis one oso die die must gt...i promised pearl in one year de...so gt to try hard le...n one last thing...gt to look for a gal...a guai gal i shall say...to settle down le...trying to move on....hope everything i listed down will turn out smooth smooth de...keke....

I think my door had open up le...welcoming someone new into my life....keke... =)) c u guys...

Edwin ar...i cant read yr blog lei...wat happened ar?? tried alot of time le lei.....sian 1/2...

2006-03-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

Hi hi...hmm...back to blog le...someone is rushing mi to blog something liao...keke...everyday is still the same...acutally nth to blog abt...as usual lor...sat wen rush...was kana dragged de...keke...i stopped dancing at ard 2 plus...was too tired le...reached home ard 5am plus....tired tired tired...didnt gt to slp recently...kept on having drinking sessions....wat to do rite?? kel's place de beer is like for free de...go to his place juz like ladies nite...keke...free flow the whole nite...

I handed my resign letter le...n i use my leave n some days unpaid leave to cover...will start my new job next week le...so tis few days will try to enjoy myself...but i m broke le...keke....think of flying over to thai again...keke...try to gt my aunty as sponser...its only the air ticket...keke...go over for 2 to 3 days oso nt bad...can relax abit...hm...shall c how ba....

Recently watched quite alot of movies...the most recent de is Date Movie...veri lame n nice show...made mi laugh from the starting of the show to the ending...keke...u guys shld go catch it...hmm...my next one i think will be Dorm...follow by 49 Days....n Ice Age 2....keke...so much for mi to catch...anyone interested in watching all these with mi?? keke....

2006-03-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

Life is so meaningless....
One step wrong...u r gone foreva....
Regrets...haiz....

Juz gt home nt long ago....had a veri bad day at home....tis morning wen back to work le...den knew tat de "worm" had been called to be on unpaid leave...(means another way of dismissed le)...mi n kelvin predicted tat will be my turn later...n true enough i was called up to my OP's office before lunch time....she asked mi to stay in store n work...n said tat all the outlets have more than enough staffs le...i was damn pissed off...if all the outlets have more than enough staffs den why management still have to hire new staffs??? haiz...didnt give her an ans rite away juz said tat give mi some time to think abt it....n everyone is helping mi to look for job le...gg to tender my resign letter tml....

Will be quite busy wen ed return from malaysia...gg to start to plan for our new shop de stuffs...its either at far east or marina sq le....gg to try hard to work out on my career le...guys bless mi ba...

2006-03-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Waiting for my dar to wake up...going to have coffee with arron later....didnt gt much slp sia...veri slply...actually going thailand today de but gt hold back by 2 women...keke...one is my mum the other is of coz my dar lor...haiz sian..made mi broke my promise n in the end mummy quarrelled with my auntie....my flight is at 0920am de...n now another person wen on my behalf le...haiz...

Ytd wasnt a great dat too....wen back to office in the morning to settle my things first...den wen over to novena to gt somethings....bought lunch over to dar's hse for her...wen preparing to eat she told mi a news tat crushed mi once again...her ex jioing her to patch....n all i can say is to ask her to think over it herself....i cant give comments...as i know i will be torn apart if i do so...one side of mi will be selfish n the other side i have to let go...haiz....but i know the selfish side of mi is more than the letting go side...i really wan to spend time with her....i really wan her to be by my side at tis moment...i need her so much...i dun wan another 5 more mths to repeat the history....its more than enough le...the pain...the heartaches...no one can understand...no one feels it....my tears r flowing...i juz dun understand why my heart still aches?? its been like almost a year we broke up le....i dun wan all tis to ruin wat i have now....i juz wan to spend all i have with her now....dun wish to have anyone to come into us at tis moment.....haiz...i m so confuse...

After lunch watched vcd...den gt ready wen over to J8 to watch movie...Rumours has it....a nice n touching story...keke....after movie wen to clinic to c a doc....my neck had been giving problems sia....den wen to have dinner...n sent dar home....met up with my mum n wen home togther with her...throu out the journey she was scolding mi like mad sia...i told her i will be gg over to thai but she wont allow....n say wan to break my legs if i dare to step out of the hse...haiz....so no choice lor....slack at home for awhile den wait for kelvin to fetch mi up...wen over to his place to drink again...keke...last nite was XO's nite...keke...total drank abt 3 bottles of XO ba....everyone trained till drink like siao le....reached home ard 7 plus...didnt slp...hangover now....blur blur de...tonite i think i shall take one day annual leave from kelvin to rest le....keke....

2006-03-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

Gg to work soon...decided to type a short short entry...hmm...reached hm ard 7am...den wen to rest for awhile n gt up tp bathe...n i m now ready to go for work...

Last nite everyone in kelvin's hse is in bad mood...so gt to entertain myself....played his PS2...keke...he is busying with his recently project so didnt dare to busy him...the rest lei...was drinking like nobody's business....the whole nite i only drank abt 8-12 cans of beer....keke...didnt dare to drink more...orelse today sure hangover de....one of the kakis had juz broke up with his gf...so everyone was like ard him for every hr n min....trying to cheer him up...as for mi, i m busying with my games n beer so juz heck care...keke....

I m veri hungry now...ytd didnt eat the whole day....tot date dar to movie can have lunch togther but she dated her fren le...so tot in the evening can have dinner together but haiz...didnt meet...sian 1/2....n now i gg off to work le....gg to gt some bread to hold on first...keke....tc guys...

2006-03-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

Hmm...woke up ard 2 plus but still veri slply...*yawn* reached hm ard 6am in the mornig...wen rush last nite...met up with ed in the late afternoon...n chit chat with him...den wen to meet up with dar dar...ed left ard 6 plus...mi n dar dar wen town to wait for daniel...he was late...reached abt 8 plus...had dinner den wen to rush...at first was quite sian...too early wen in le...dar dar had her frens ard n i had my own...so we were like enjoying with our own frens....actually wanted to go over double O de but was worried abt dar so didnt wen over....daniel n alex wen hm ard 1 plus...n i was left all alone le....but luckily there is another grp of frens so juz stick with them...was oso quite drunk...so the rest of the time was watching football...keke....watched 2 match....ae usual lor ended at 4am...den wen supper with dar...till 5 plus...reached hm ard 6am...actually wanted to go out de...pei my kakis but dar dun allow so no choice wen to orh orh koon...but woke up ard 7 plus...woke up by calls...n wen out...pei them till 9 plus 10...was drinking...sian sia...nt used to drink in the early morning....feel werid werid de...reached hm ard 10...n wen to bed...was woke up by dar's msg at 2 plus....keke....

Dar wen lunch with her frens lor...waiting for her to confirm if she is meeting mi later ma...gg to watch Big Momma's hse 2....maybe go catch a nap first be...n later c how....bye guys *wink*

2006-03-04T01:06:00.000-08:00

Juz gt back home...veri tired...eyes r gg to close soon...shall slp early tonite...no more drinking sessions tonite...or else tml will have no energy to dance till morning le...

For today...wen work as usual...stay in store the whole day packing frames...tiring sia...have to match the models...den tear the price tags...den put in...haiz so sian....u all shld know de ma...i cant sit at the same place for too long de...will go crazy lor...so long day was like wan to die le...cant move juz kept matching the frames with their price tags...haiz...but today knock off earlier...i started to walk out of the building by 0520pm le...keke...pei my kelvin korkor walked all the way to mrt station...den took the same train to PS...met up with dar dar...n wen THIS FASHION with her...she wans to gt clothes...i tell u all la...pei gers to shop for clothes r tiring...wait for them to chose la...den wait for them to try la...den wait for them to wear it out for us to look la...den wait for them to c which one they wan...n finally we can pay le...keke...

After tat wen to look for derrick...wen Heeren...walk ard to wait for daniel...n at 8 plus daniel finally arrived n the three of us is already damn hungry le...walked over to swensen...ordered alot of food...side dish la...den main course...n daniel ordered the gaint earthquake sia...8 scoopes of ice cream lei...by the time we finished everything i was too full to move le...n it derrick's treat...total amount was ard $135...keke...thks rick....after dinner wen for a few games of pool...hmm...derrick was at top form today...left the place ard 11 plus near 12...took cab sent dar dar home first den i took another one back home...gg to slp le...tml nite still have to go RUSH with daniel edwin n derrick they all...so gt to store for energy le....shall update soon...nites....

2006-03-03T02:06:00.000-08:00

Back to blog le...actually nt much to blog abt...usually abt my work stuffs ba...cant reveal too much abt my work...shall juz say...i had once again reach my lowest point of life...at times u will never know how it feels until u met up with it...

I always tot tat life was meaningless to mi...i hack care tis n tat but till today i realise deep down in mi, i didnt c my life as meaningless as it was...i still care...i still feel...i still gt angry...n i still have tears...i find it meaningless becoz there is nth or no one tat can let mi find it meaningful...i m juz doing everything aimlessly...i work for the sake of surviving...i wen out with frens for the sake of someone there to pei mi...we always do things for reasons...i dun find life as colourful as it used to be...for now i m juz like a normal working adult...9am-6pm-working...den off day either rest or clubbing...if nt tat tired juz ask kelvin out for drinking sessions...tis few days had been drinking with him...damn love his place...always full of beer, wine n my beloved martell....everyday fully stock up de...keke...

At least over at his place i can drink till the fullest...no worries, no stress...dun need to think abt a thing...i admit i m taking things to hard but tat's mi...i wan to carry all the burden with mi...n i know if i wanted them den i shall nt complain abt it but no matter if i carry or nt...i still unhappy...i may be putting a smile but its frowning inside...so guys dun complain tat i m too quiet or said tat the cheerful n talkative gary is missing...i had changed...everything had changed...the world is turning everyday...there r changes everywhere...n it includes mi too...everyone is changing everyday...so stop forcing mi to cheer up or to gt the old gary back le...i m who i m now....be with mi for who i m ba....

2006-02-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

I m felt so guilty today...haiz...i made shuwei n vee quarrel over mi...n in the end vee wen back to KL le...everything is so fragile...no matter how strong a person is...one day he/she will juz breakdown de...n today i finally brokedown while talking to vee....n i made her cried too...both of us r so disappointed in somethings...life will still br going on but to mi it seems meaningless le...

Dun say all kind of promises wen u r in a r/s becoz u will never know how long tis r/s is gg to last...dun say u r gg to stay faithful wen after a few mths u r flirting with others....dun say u r gg to take care of her/him foreva wen the next few days u broke up with her/him....dun say u wont make her/him sad wen she/he is actually crying everynite....dun say u will be ard for her/him wen she/he cant even find u wen she/he needs u....n lastly i dun need all those bullshit...i m fine wen i m alone...i dun need anyone to be ard....juz fuck off!!

2006-02-27T22:20:00.000-08:00

Juz reached home...in veri bad mood...today finally know where i m posted le...i think u guys cant guess it rite de...i was posted to our store...gg to pack frames la...solutions la...den c which outlet lack of things den send it to them...haiz...they trying means n ways to make mi resign myself...i really wanted to...but vee kept ask mi to hold on first...i m so tired of the F***ing management...always playing tis kind of small actions with us....wat to do rite...boss dun like mi...but must i bear with all these?? confuse confuse confuse....

My working time had changed...n i hate it...its juz like in republic...i dun like tis kind of timing at all...mon-fri from 9am to 6pm...den sat half day....every 2 weeks gt sat off...sian 1/2 sia...in office can really slack sia...nth to do...at tis moment is to unpack hougang's stuffs after tat can slack all the way....i feel so bloody useless....damn it!!!!

2006-02-26T14:40:00.000-08:00

Woke up ard 0130pm...still veri tired sia...reached home ard 6am in the morning...wen rush with dar...its been like almost 6mths didnt go le...so feelings still ok ba...dance throu the nite...on n off de...too tired le..so in between always rested for a long time....as usual la....rush r always tat happening de....keke....dar gt to know a new grp of frens...keke...al least now she have her own kakis to accompany her...rush closed at 4am...after tat they asked us to go over to MU but i was too tired le...n was jealous (nth can be escape from dar de)....we took a cab back to bishan to have supper....den pei her walk home...n i reach home ard 6am...wen st8 to bed...whole body was numb le....tired tired tired.....

Dar called mi a jealous bao...i have a new nick le...ahlulu, pipizhu n now jealous bao....haha...tml gg back to work le...sian sia...they will be telling mi which outlet i will be gg....haiz...hope everything will turn out gd ba...dun expect too much...nt bad news can le....wish mi luck ba....

2006-02-24T17:26:00.000-08:00

*yawn* finally back home to rest le...can rest abt an hr...later gg to have dinner with my ah dar dar....=) damn tired sia...old le...cant waste too much energy...in the past all tis overnite things la...or even dun slp for days..to mi is like chicken feet lor...but now...cant le...maybe becoz of stress or sick ba...today really cant stand at all....i m like gg to faint sia....

Anyway tiday half day...sat n sun off...kana forced to take leave...so unfair...waste 2 days of my leave...sian 1/2....mon gg back to office to unpack all those stuffs...n will be told where i will be posted to...haiz...gt some bad feelings sia...vee oso have those feelings....haiz....gt to go take a nap first le...or else later ah dar dar gg to kill mi if i didnt rest....ciao!!

2006-02-24T08:15:00.000-08:00

Going back to shop soon...reach home ard 6am tis morning...i m so sick n tired now...luckily last nite derrick n daniel came to help out...or else sure die die de....the stupid worm so lack...n i m doing all the work alone sia....actually can go home earlier de but we took a long break in between...abt 1 1/2hrs break ba...talking craps...keke...my shop now is so empty...later have to go back to office to unpack all the stuffs...till dun know wat time sia...sian ar....

2006-02-23T09:42:00.000-08:00

Here to blog again on tis early morning....hmm...things had been happening tis few days...ppl checking on mi...said i m a liar...loving two person...but i was thinking...ya so wat if i m a liar...so wat if i m loving two person...i admit them...but how abt u?? at least i tried my best nt to hurt anyone...i love two person but i m nt with either of them....before u wan to confront others...pls think of wat u had done at first....

Slept ard 4am in the morning...damn slply n tired now....was waiting for her call....she said she will call but till now no call or a msg...haiz....m i expecting too much?? i kept on telling myself...we r juz frens...i have to control my feelings....if she didnt call or msg juz forget it la....but i dun seems i can heck care...i m so tired of guessing wat u r thinking....who m i to u?? a fren?? or more than a fren?? yr pillar?? come n find mi wen u need someone?? u seems to heck care...u seems to keep a distance...u dun wan history to repeat...i cant give u happiness....

There is nth i can do to make the clock turn the time back....how i wish i can go back to the past n treasure u from the start....for now i feel so terrible...there is simply nth i can do...i can only look at u at a distance....how i wish i can stop loving u...the pain in there is gg to kill....I hate myself for loving tat deeply...

2006-02-21T00:03:00.000-08:00

Feeling extremly bad today...i juz dun understand why...those feelings kept poping in mi...i hate it...anger, jealousy...shit...wat m i doing?? i shldnt allow all these to come into mi...it sucks...

I m holding back myself...but i dun seems i can...i m falling deeper n deeper...i cant gt u out of my mind...i tried to open up my door for other gals...like wat u had said....i will find my perfect one but i found tat totally no one can replace u....n i hate it...i cant force myself to fall for other gals...OMG!! i know i cant be together with u but i cant control at all...my feelings...my mind...my heart...ARGH!!!

I m longing to hold yr hands...to hug u....to have u by my side....
I m so deeply in love with u....
Pls teach mi wat to do?? teach mi to stop loving....teach mi to stop thinking....teach mi to be cruel...to be heartless....teach mi a way to ask my soul to leave u....or else i m gg crazy le...haiz... :'(

Almost 2 years le....i always tot tat the 5mths, i had already let u walk out of my life le...but recently it doesnt seems so....u r still in my life....i always ask myself...is it season love or true love...n today i found out the ans le...its true love...nt season de...i always tot tat the love i have for u is season de but my heart is telling mi tat its nt...ITS NOT!!! haiz....

2006-02-20T10:02:00.000-08:00

Cant slp again...OMG!! its coming back to haunt mi again....i kept forcing myself to slp but juz cant...so no choice gt out of my bed at ard 7 plus in the morning....so damn pissed off....hate to have tis kind of feelings....i m really tired le but haiz.....

Anyway today will be busy day...my dar celebrating her birthday in advance....at k-box....luckily gt a fren working over at tat side so had asked her to reserve a big big room for us...keke....hope today dar will enjoy herself ba....gt to ciao liao....shall blog tonite....

2006-02-19T22:58:00.000-08:00

Capricorn 22 Dec-19 Jan

Aquarius 20 Jan-18 Feb

Pisces 19 Feb-20 Mar

Aries 21 Mar-19 Apr

Taurus 20 Apr-20 May

Gemini 21 May-21 June

Cancer 22 June- 22 July

Leo 23 July- 22 Aug

Virgo 22 Aug-22 Sept

Libra 23 Sept-22 Oct

Scorpio 23 Oct-21 Nov

Sagittarius 22 Nov-21 Dec

...................................................................................................................................

Which horoscope is yrs?? Hmm...mine is libra wor....n here goes....

LIBRA MAN

A man who has no balance like his Zodiac symbol. He is not the gentle, cool , calm and charming guy like what you see. He has another dark side of aggression, stubborn and he likes to start an argument the most. Sometimes he can be so depress and unstable. Up and down like he is trying to balance himself most of the time.

To many people, he is a friendly guy and always smile even when he is mad or up set. His voice always gentle and calm. he always set and comb his hair as if he comes out from a shampoo advertisement. Mostly Libra men are good looking, even the ugly one is charming. When he smiles, it is so bright that the whole world is smiling with him too.

When he is in a balance mood, he is the type of person you want to be with. In other unbalancing mood, he likes to make people argue about something and watching it with fascination and fun. He will wait to be the one who compromise and clear thing up. He likes to be in a conflicting conversation.

Libra man is lazy by nature. After his tired day at work, he likes to sit still and just look out of the window or read quietly. He likes to be in his own world. After recharging his battery, he will be very energetic again and may even take you out that night.

Libra man normally will not do any shocking or abnormal things to be noticed. He likes to be conformed with his crowd, but if you watch him carefully, you will see the different. If he wear a shirt, it will have to be a zipper front instead of buttons, or a special tie bar. There is always something in him that he will not allow totally conformity to take him over.

A straight forward , no non-sense guy. He is careful and delicate in details. He will spent extra time to doing it right, than comes back to correct them later. He hates people who boost, or exaggerate. He does not like over dressed woman or make herself a center of an attention.

He loves to read. He loves poems and loves art. When he works he can work like crazy, but after work he can turn on romantic jazzy music and treat you so gently. He loves to give people advice and normally give a good advice. If you fall for him, you will stay like being trapped in a spider web. If you want to break up with him, he will persuade you a zillion ways to stay and you can not stop him anyway. After he persuade you to stay, or after a big fight, he will be so sweet to you as if he has never hurt your feeling before ever.

He will has his own way to win a girl love and affection. Once she says yes, he will lay back and wonder if he should go on or if he should back out. In his teen, he changed many girl friends because he can not clearly separate loving a friend and loving a girl friend. He will check and re-cheek if his match is suitable and compatible with him.

Even he is a romantic man, he can hardly understand the emotion of the one he loves. He is a generous guy even he sets his life so systematically. He never knows when he makes you unhappy. He never knows how he up set you. He will never knows what he said wrong. If he is your lover, be prepare for this.

A not so pretty girl with no brain is not his type of woman. If you are not pretty enough, he will not mind talking to you but he does not care to get to know you. Any girls, pretty or ugly can ask for his help, he will be happy to help. He hates to argue by yelling at each other, so you tend to see he argue with his girl friend seriously but try at best to be very quiet.

He likes to have a girl friend by getting to know each other like a friend first. If you want him, you have to like the same thing he does. He prefers a pretty and gentle woman than a smart and ugly woman. You have to understand his mood especially he can has many different moods. He is a private person, so when he needs to be alone better let him be.

..................................................................

keke....i found some parts r quite true wor...but its up to u guys to c ba....those understand mi well enough will know which part is like mi...which part is nt....shall blog tml morning...bye...

2006-02-19T01:46:00.000-08:00

Today feel quite down..maybe after a talk with vee ba...talking abt my r/s n career with him...my career...thinking of joining other company...still give it s serious tot...haiz...dun know wat to do...quite lost now....guys give some comments lei....

N as for r/s...been deeply in love with her but gt to force myself to know tat she wont accept mi...gt to force myself to say i cant give her a veri wonderful future...i m trying so hard to force myself nt to gt into tat circle again...i m at the edge now...i cant help nt falling in again...i dun wan all those feelings to come back again....tears juz flowed down wen i told vee how hard i m trying to hold back....on one side i m so happy tat currently she is by my side...on the other side i have so much to think abt...struggling with my emotions....at times she can really make mi feel tat i m the happiest person in the world but at times she can too make mi feel tat i sucks....so wat i m deeply in love with her?? i know i will never never give her those things tat she needed...life is so cruel...found tat person but ending r always tat sucks.....

Dar...i love u....u r always in my mind....

2006-02-18T01:33:00.002-08:00

Back to blog le....keke....juz reached home nt long ago....tired ar....woke up ard 8 plus den gt ready n wen out le...met up with dar at bishan...had breakfast with her n wen back to her place to take a nap....slept till 2 plus...woke up waited for her to gt ready...gt out of the hse at 4pm...wen to marina square to have carl's jr....she didnt eat before so have to bring tis mountain turtle to have a taste of it....keke....after tat wen ard town area to gt my cust de contact lens...finally at 8pm wen to k-box to sing...saw a veri old fren of mine...became veri chio le sia... =)) from 8pm sing till 12am...took a bus back to bishan...fetch my tigger ger...n now i back home typing tis blog...

Ok...the dar i mention above n the soulmate from the previous blog is pearlyn....guys we r nt together so dun need to ask wen u guys meet up with mi...i called her dar becoz used to it le....alot of things had happened since chinese new year eve....i broke up with siling before CNY eve...n on tat day...i asked pearl to join us for a sing session...with ed, vee n derrick...ever since after CNY eve...i came to realise tat all along she is still in my heart...i juz didnt wan to face it...after hearing all those hardship she had been suffering for tis past 5 mths...my heart juz felt a veri sharp pain in it...i tot i had already forgotten her....i tot she wasnt in my heart anymore...but she had been all along in the bottom of my heart....i hate myself for letting her to suffer so much...it hurts...

Siling broke up with mi becoz she thinks tat we cant click anymore...n she kept finding faults in mi...n she dun c the point in continuing...so juz ended up everything...as for mi n pearl now...i love her...we r enjoying each other accompany till either one of us move on...got to gt prepare with all these...we r juz two gd frens tat r in love...she is my lover, my fren, my soulmate....so guys i explained everything in here le...so dun ask mi anymore questions le...i m contented with the current situation...i know i will be damn sad if something happen but i juz wan to treasure now...treasure every single min n sec with her....

Dar, u r my everything....

2006-02-18T01:33:00.001-08:00

2006-02-18T01:33:00.000-08:00

2006-02-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

Blogging in the early morning again....actually nt much to blog recently...had been blogging rubbish...still remember one of my fren told mi tat we blogged becoz mainly of sad things had been happening...n wen u r in a happy mood u dun seems to have anything to blog abt...i find it quite true lei...life had been quite ok for mi recently...dun mention abt my job...other than tat everything is still ok...

For my job....my outlet is closing down in a few days time....getting prepare with all the stuffs...quite busy...somehow all these work let mi manage nt to think of other stuffs...i m so sick of thinking...makes mi juz feel pissed off...for the time being i m contented with wat i have....have a grp of great budds...n a soulmate tat understand mi well....

Hmm...rushing off for work le...shall blog abt some personal stuffs in the nite....c u guys later...

2006-02-16T01:25:00.000-08:00

WHY WHY WHY!!! why m i always the one who is at fault?? i m always tat stupid one to let u scold wen u r in a bad mood...i m so bloody sick of everything....in family...i m always the one to gt scolded watever happens...in r/s....everything will be my fault...watever i do is wrong....i m the worst child in the family....she juz said i m always the one who is nt listening to her....said i always mix with all those bad ppl...haiz....juz simply becoz i cant make her proud of mi...i m the most useless one...i m so piss by everything...i put in tons of effort but wat did i gt?? so wat wen i work hard?? everyone looks down on mi....i really did my best le....i really worked veri hard le....i m at my wits le...wat else do u all wan?? i had already given my everything le....i m damn tired!! veri tired!! :'(

Work is so tiring tis few days...cant even take time to breathe...shop gg to close soon but i haven even finish half of wat i shld do...gt to check all the frames n the price tags...haiz...2000 plus of frames lei...n they juz came 15 boxes of new frames for us...pissed off ar...my whole work place is in a mess...at times i cant even find my things...i have to do tis n tat...plus serving customers...ARGH!!! gg crazy soon....tml still have to continue with my bloody work...i m so tired...eyes r closing soon....*yawn*

Gg to cut short my valentine's day....u guys must be thinking who i had been out with ytd rite...haha...hmm...someone special....woke up at ard 8 plus...changed n wen out le...gt a veri special present...its a huge tigger wor....hmm...can hug it to slp le...n something veri special too...i really love tat...i m so touched...cant even control my tears wen i saw it... =) wen to have long john for lunch...den watched The Long Weekend....wen back home n cooked dinner...everything ended at 10 plus....enjoyable valentine's day ba...but anyway gt to say...valentine's day its nt juz for couples wor...its for frens too....hope u guys had enjoy yr day....

To the special u:
Thanks for the presents u had given to mi...i really love them alot....hope u like the presents i had given to u...sorry to let u disappointed le...cant give u a valentine's day tat u had expected...will mend it back to u soon...n thanks again for tis special day....i had enjoy it veri much...hope u too had enjoy yr day.... =))

2006-02-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

Its Valentine's day again...haha...sian ar...single n available...so envy tat couples r holding hands walking down the streets...anyway today juz wanted to blog different coloured roses covey different meaning....

Colour: Peach
Meaning: Desire, appreciation, admiration
Colour: Pink
Meaning: Light pink-Elegance, gracefulness, joy, perfect happiness....Dark pink-Thankfulness
Colour: White
Meaning: Innocence, purity, truth. Can oso signify happy love n friendship
Colour: Coral
Meaning: Enthusiasm, fascination
Colour: Yellow
Meaning: Once used to convey jealousy. Now symbolises joy n gladness, friendship n freedom
Colour: Red
Meaning: "I love you!", passionate love
Colour: Blue
Meaning: Fantasies, new opportunities n possibilities
Colour: Lilac
Meaning: Love at first sight

Different number of roses convey different meaning too....

Number: One rose
Meaning: Devoted to u or love at first sight
Number: Two roses
Meaning: Two of us, deeply in love
Number: Three roses
Meaning: I love you
Number: 12 roses
Meaning: Declaration of love
Number: 24 roses
Meaning: Thinking of u every hour of the day

Ok...all done le...u guys beta hurry read tis up n decide wat colour to sent n number of it ba...all the best on tis lovely valentine's day....

2006-02-12T01:49:00.000-08:00

In plane...heading bangkok...

Mi n vee in plane....

Nice weather wor...

The sky is so blueee.......

I love tis pic!!!

Two small little bags wen we arrived...

Mi in hotel room le...

Piggy dog...

Vee n mi in tutu...

Second day...n our room is in a mess le...

All my things....

At the day market...

While resting in room...

Water tat we had drank...

Full of rubbish...

How messy r we....

Total slippers we had bought....

Boats used as transport...

2006-02-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

The slope tat we climbed up everyday to the day market....hmm...vee's back...

Tutu...its juz like a cab but too bad only 2 seats...

Heavy traffic of bangkok....

Bags wen we leave bangkok...full of presents...

These r vee's de...

On our way to gate 42...flying back to spore...

2006-02-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

Back in the early morning to finish typing my 2nd 3rd n 4th day of my trip...

2nd day 8th Feb 2006

Woke up at 0830am (spore time 0930am) to gt ready for breakfast...9am gt down to the hotel resturant to have breakfast...its buffet style de...after breakfast wen back to hotel to slack for awhile...1hr later we wen to the day market...the place is damn big lor...its like a giant maze....at times both of us can gt lost in there...accompany vee to buy his stuffs...he brought t-shirts n jeans...as for mi..i m tat kind of slow de...so was comparing price n looking for my prefect gifts...we shop till ard 6pm...n drag ourselves back to hotel...was veri tired...i cant even open my eyes le...rest till 7 plus...took a tutu to a nite market...the things there r veri ex...mainly for the ang mo de...took vee to c wat r tiger show...haha...we didnt wen in juz walk pass n c....found a starbucks cafe...ordered my carmel ice blended...for vee is chocolate ice blended...sit down n chat till 11 plus...took a tutu back to hotel...took a hot bath n wen to bed le....

3rd day 9th Feb 2006

Woke up at the same time for breakfast....today is my turn to gt all my stuffs le....mainly r all gifts....didnt real gt my own stuffs...hmm...i only gt myself 3 pairs of slippers...a t-shirt...a belt...i think tats all le...the slippers cost abt $2 only...converse de....t-shit is only $5....n the belt is only $6...haha...in spore where gt so cheap de....necklace r only $0.85....earings r only $0.45 per pair...LV lighters cost only less than a dollar...all damn cheap lor....n its a gal's world...almost 80% the shops over there r selling gal's stuffs...anyway 3rd day was veri zai...we shop till 7pm n next head for their shopping malls....there one supermarket in there...its kind of like our Giant here...the things r cheap...bought a 5000ml mineral water....both mi n vee drank 2 bottles of 5000ml n 7 bottles of 1500ml of mineral water...their 5000ml is only at $1.50....their beer/wine is only $2....cig r only at $3....n gals out there if u all wan to buy bra...its only $15 per set....wacoal brand...some brands r even cheaper lor....bought food back to hotel to eat....slept at 12 plus....

4th day 10th Feb 2006

Woke up for breakfast...wen back to room to pack stuffs....vee total bought 30 plus of t-shirts sia...cant stand him....after packing den slack ard...till 12pm...cheeck out...put our bags at the lobby....n we head for their shopping malls again...their shopping malls open time is werid werid de...from 8.30am to 8pm....anyway...bought some local food...reach back hotel at 4pm...waited till 5.15pm...the bus came to fetch us....head for the airport....

10th Feb 2006
Flight: 3k 514
From: Bangkok 0745pm
To: Singapore 0945pm
Gate: 42
Seat: 10D

There a little delay...reached back spore at ard 11pm...took a cab home....unpack my stuffs...n juz knock off....

End of my 4 days trip...

2006-02-11T02:11:00.000-08:00

Haha...i m back in spore le...wah...4 days of shopping...made mi damn tired sia...den tat side de weather is so hot...kept sweating n sweating...but had fun...

07 Feb 2006
Jetstar Asia
Flight: 3k 511
Gate: D49
Seat number: 9F
Depart: Singapore 0920am
Arrive: Bangkok 1040am

Woke up damn early tat morning...set my alarm ard 5am but overslept till 0530am... =p rush everything n gt out of the hse ard 0615am...was late le...meet vee at 0700am de...took train to changi airport...reached ard 0715am....he told mi to meet him at terminal 1 de but i blur blur waited for him at terminal 2....so nt choice lor...took skytrain to terminal 1...wen to jetstar de counter collect our tickets...both of us was damn hungry so wen to look for Mac...wen back to terminal 2...used half an hour looking for it....had a veri full meal sia...wen back to terminal 1 to check in...both of us was damn late n was the last 2 person to board the flight....actually budget airlines r nt tat bad too la...seats r quite comfortable too...slept throu out the whole journey....reached bangkok ard 11am...waited for the bus for abt 1hr plus sia...reached the hotel at 1pm ba...Bangkok City Inn....a 3 star hotel...gt our room...room number 715....put our things down n rested for awhile....2 plus was out of the hotel le...exploring for cheapo stuffs....wen to different places to compare prices....didnt really bought anything on the first day...was damn tired sia...both of us have to drag ourselves back to the hotel room...slept ard 2am after a chat with vee....

Shall stop here le...tis is the day 1...shall continue tml...veri tired le...n will upload all the pics for u guys to c soon....so sit back n enjoy ba...haha....

2006-02-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

I never seek to defeat the man i am fighting

I seek to defeat his confidence

A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory

Two men are equals-true equals-only when they both have equal confidence
.....................................................................................................................................................................

Hmm...its 0246am in the morning...juz finished packing my bag...will be leaving the hse in 3 hrs time...but gt to start prepare ard 5am le...tired ar...after tis entry gt to catch some slp le...my eyes cant open at all sia...

There r so much of work to be done by today...haiz...i m so worried abt tat "worm"....i m juz scare tat he cant handle lor...there r so much things he doesnt know how to do de....i still have to tell derrick n ask derrick to pass the msg to him...*worried*....anyway stress is stress la...but gt a veri sweet surprise today wor....hmm...shall keep it as a secret...its only between the both of us wor....=))

Mixture of feelings now...cant bear to leave...n the other is to leave...leave to sort my tots...to sort my feelings...to recharge my energy...will be back afresh....cant bear to leave becoz i love spore so much...haha....no la...cant bear to leave becoz there r things tat i m still worried abt...cant leave with a veri peaceful mind...haiz...hope after tis trip...everything will be smooth n wonderful ba...

Gt to go le...or else no time to orh orh koon le...gg to miss u guys!!! u guys oso have to miss mi wor...shall do some catching up wen i m back ba...c ya real soon....bye.....

2006-02-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

Haha...i m here to blog on tis lovely morning....today is the 6th of feb le...tml is the 7th le...hmm...i m flying off le...haiz...but dun know why juz dun have the mood to go...but i seems to have no choice as i had already bought thr air tickets...there r so many reasons tat i juz dun wish to go....haiz...

Tis few days there r happy times n sad times....a veri long story...eveything is repeating...triangle r/s...i m trying to pleased everyone...trying hard to...but energy seems to be fading off le....my heart can feel le...my mind cant think le....all i ask for now is to have a quiet life first...i m so tired to do anything le....so decided to put all the faults on myself....dun need to quarrel anymore....i m so sick of it...always finding things to quarrel....a r/s really doesnt come veri easily...so why nt treasure it...treasure yr partner....n work things out....if u truely love him..u will hold on to him no matter wat.....

Hmm...gt to rush to work le...shall be back tonite to type my last blog before i fly off....bye

2006-02-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

0922am in the morning...juz found out tat i had been typing all my bad points out sia...no gd points at all...but who will say tat they have gd points?? haha...veri veri tired ar...slept ard 5 plus in the morning...n gg to my outlet later on...n today its my off day lor...still have to drag myself back...Argh!! had been blogging alot tis few days...trying to blog as much as i can before i fly off...alot of mixture feelings now...been quite alot of ppl asking mi to stay back...haiz...no return le ar...i had confirmed everything le....everything is ready for mi over tat side le....u guys really need mi so much ar?? Haha....but i really hope i can take tis as a long break...come back n start afresh...guys wish mi luck wor....

Recently fall in love with a song by Rainie Yang...Zhi Xiang Ai Ni...i really love the lyrics alot...shall convert a small part into english ba....

To u maybe u will find tat i m too young but u made mi realise tat cry becoz of love is oso a kind of sweetness....Wen i m together with u, i had already made up my mind tat i will never give up...n its u tat made mi realise tat becoz of love i can be tat firm...How i wish the moment i open my eyes, the person next to mi will be u...i know at times i m stubborn but no matter wat yr decision will be...love mi or to avoid mi...i will never give up on loving u.....

Hope i didnt convert wrong ba...tried my best le...but its still the best if u guys have chance to listen to it...the song is so meaningful...

No matter wat i m gg to treasure the things tat i had once lost...

Gg to end here...shall blog again tonite if i have the time....

2006-02-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

Haha...i m back...hmm...tml n sat is my off day...but i seems fully booked...argh!!! i m leaving on next tues...n all my budds r asking mi out....i m trying to squeeze all my time out le...but cant seems to satisfy all of them...to those tat i cant meet...i m so sorry...my time is really packed till i have no time for myself at all...still deciding wen i will be coming back...haiz...how how?? cant decide wor...i think shall c how things go ba...

Ok..now things abt mi....basically i m a veri wishy washy person...i always cant decide on things...no matter the path i m gg to walk or even r/s...i m always tat wishy washy...sometimes i really hate myself...my mind n heart always cant seems to be on the same line....i cant hold firm on wat i had decided...i dun seems like i can be settling down....tots r always running in my head...always afraid of tis n tat...haiz...now trying to settle myself down...hope i can ba....

The next thing abt mi is tat i always think too much or rather sensitive ba...haiz so much bad things abt mi...juz cant feel tat the person who is talking to mi is telling mi the truth or he/she is lying to mi...cant help to always think in tat way...i find tis quite serious...becoz as time goes by i will slowly lost trust in everyone...i dun wan to be in tis way...becoz of tis i had already lost my love one...i dun wish history to repeat...n to cure tis...i m trying nt to let my tots run wild...relax myself more...somethings can heck care den heck care....i had been carrying too much things onto myself le...its time to load off some....or maybe juz dun care at all...

Shall blog till here...more to come tml...remember to catch it wor...bye

2006-02-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

Gd morning!!! gg to work soon...actually nth to blog...but hands itchy so came in to type type a few words...keke...

Veri slply tis few days...argh!! slping at ard 5plus in the morning since chinese new year eve...but guys dun worry wor...i m now leading a veri simple plus happy life...althou single...but of coz gt gf beta la...keke...at least i still have veri great frens ard....listening to all my naggings n complains....n for work lei...still quite alrite recently...outlet closing le...so abit slack becoz my "boss" seems to heck care us le... =)) hmm...decided to blog out wat kind of person i m...so remember to read my blog tis few days wor....

Gary Woon...haha...a veri bad temper person...nt much ppl can tahan mi...luckily there r a few of my budds can calm mi down wen i m throwing my super big temper...in the past i can juz throw my temper without thinking twice...will never tot if tat person will gt hurt anot...in the end i learnt a veri big lesson...by throwing temper can actually let u lose the ones u love...the one tat gt hurt most will be he/she...as he/she is the closest to u...a person or a thing doesnt come veri easily...n i learn tat nt to take her as granted...once i take her as for granted, i will always tends to throw my temper as i will think tat she will always be ard...but now i learn tat if u wan to throw temper think abt the ppl ard mi...try all my best nt to gt angry with stuffs...so tat i wont be throwing my temper....got to learn "yoga" sia...keke...u guys shld know wat i m trying to say ba.... =)) now as for now i have someone great in my life...nt gg to repeat my mistakes...dun wan to hurt anyone le.... =)

A small little past of mi...shall blog more tonite...gt to go le....running late...tata... =)

2006-02-01T04:22:00.000-08:00

Its the mid of the nite...n i m still veri awake...haha....

All i can say for the day is a bad day...quarrels non stop...juz blame mi for wat i had did ba....watever i did is a wrong step...hate mi with all yr might ba....i m speechless...

2006-01-31T02:23:00.000-08:00

Its 0205am in the morning...n its the 3rd day of CNY...things had been happening non stop...i m starting to face myself...n face reality...

Came to realise something...wen u r deeply in love...in a r/s....watever sweet talks u said...the one tat listen will always tot its real..."i will love u foreva" "i will love u for who u r" "our love can overcome all those probs" "i m willing to face all probs with u".....haiz...all these r really bullshit....one mistake....or she/him can juz find one fault in u...den everything is gone le....

Love really needs to involve 2 person...love is all abt feelings n heart....if u truely love tat person...u will try all yr best to overcome all probs...hand in hand fight for the love u both wan...there r always solutions to all probs...no matter the prob is really tat diffcult to solve...as u know once u gt over all tis diffcult probs together...the r/s will be stronger....u will treasure it more...haiz...

2006-01-30T13:02:00.000-08:00

2nd day of CNY...n so much things had happened...think tis year doesnt seems to be a gd year ba...i m having a bad headache now....still gt abit of hangover from my drinking last nite.....i m now in a blur mode typing tis entry...tot of deleting away my blog....juz wan to bury all those unhappy things....juz keep everything to myself....but cant bear to...as there r sweet memories too...haiz...

On the new year eve...wen k-box with vee edwin derrick n pearl....veri zai lor...sung from 10 plus till 3am in the morning....from happy mode sing till sad mode den to sleepy mode...haha...but i m still veri awake so wen supper with pearl...we both veri talkative lor...eat n chat at the same time till 5am sia....den sent her home....n i wen back home to orh orh koon....

1st day of new year...woke up ard 11am..kana disturb de...damn sleeply sia....den slack at home...till 4plus my cousins came over....n wen out together...wen over to my uncle's place to collect ang bao....keke....mood wasnt tat gd...or rather my day was spoilt....i was den kana forced to go over to my dad's place...was forced to have dinner with him....argh!! i hate it....cant stand to stay even for a min....wen off ard 8pm...meet up with pearl....wen cini to catch movie....I Not Stupid Too....nice show....wen to had swensen before watching movie....after movie wen over to her side....sit downstairs with her to chit chat....drank 1 1/2 bottles....recently really old liao....gt drunk veri easily....or maybe i m veri upset ba...so tends to gt drunk easily....anyway wen home at ard 4am...wen st8 to bed....n now my head juz hurts....haiz....

Wat is a prefect lover?? Is there really someone out there who is a 100% prefect lover ma?? prefect lover is made up of all the expectations u have on a person...if tat person have all the expectations u wan but juz one fault can spoilt everything....even there r so much sweet memories...even the person who is in wrong will change for the beta...even he did his best to gave in to everything....there r so much of even....haiz....like i always tell my budds...love in life took up almost 90%....the rest will be family, career n frens....love always make one miserable....n its always the most hurtful de....for family, frens n career....there r ups n downs...but these u can always make yrself to forgive n forget but how abt love?? its so hard to forgive n forget in a r/s....in the end both of us gt hurted....why gt together wen u know the ending will be like tat?? why make the first step?? all becoz wen u both r frens...its only up to the frens level...as u climb to a higher level...it will be different le....u both have to face more things together...i m so tired...i finally realise alot alot of things tat made mi regret n guilty....i dun wish to face reality...but i dun seems to have a choice....i really dun wish to think anymore but it kept poping up in my mind....i find it so hard to understand myself le....i lost myself...i gt so hurted till i dun feel any pain in mi anymore....

2006-01-26T15:28:00.000-08:00

Haha....juz finished chatting with derrick on fone... =)) i m so happy....he brought mi gd news sia...finally my HQ had approved everything...i can finally leave on the 7th of feb le....still gt 2 more weeks to go....alot of preparation to do....i will be damn busy for the rest of the days....

Hmm...had been quarrelling with mummy since last nite le...haiz...i really dun know wat to do...she wans to blame mi for the ending den juz go ahead....i have gt nth to say....

2006-01-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

Tears flow down freely like nobody's business...i really cant bring myself to type out tis entry....heart is in pain...

*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i cant Seem tO bring myself tO u animre
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
my mind n heart keep trying t distance frm u
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i dunnO y
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
mayb u r nt my perfect luver animre
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
den juz tell mi wat u wan??
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
nth
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i dun wan r need anitHing
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
u cant bring yrself to mi anymore becoz u dun trust mi anymore...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
tats y
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
the things kept appearing in yr mind...u dun seems to be able to forget it...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
den forget it lahx
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i tell u le
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i dun wan anitHing le
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
including mi??
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
jus remain as fren bahx
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
den i m sorry to say tat u will be only the one who wans to break...i dun wan...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
u dun even wan to bring yrself to listen to wat i say...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
wats there tO say
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
why everytime wen i make mistakes u dun seems to be able to forgive??
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
watever i did is wrong...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
u wan to trust yrself in wat u had saw, i already let it to u...trust yrself...i m lying den...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
still the same old thing...my love for u doesnt mean a thing...misunderstandings n mistakes can juz ruin everything....
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
but really that time i saw
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
yes i know that at times one could not believe what he or she saw
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
but now it is a picture and i saw u
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
hw u could u say u didnt have it
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
i had already said...juz take tat u saw it...n i admit i m with them...watever it is...juz take tat i m seeking for yr attention ba...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
tat day i dun wan tO shOw u cOs i dun wan tO spOilt e day
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
Ok
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
u saw mi wat??
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i didnt saw u, i saw e pic Of ed and jas at e riverside
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
ok...den its a candid shot of ed n jas lor...i took them de...i m with them...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
i m with them throu out the whole day...i lie to u...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
i m seeking for yr attention...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
haix
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
dun wan tO tOk abt it
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
i admitted everything...juz let it b...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i trust u or myself also cant
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
u will never know how i feel tis past 2 days..
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
its juz like living in hell...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
how i wish i be like u...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i m alsO nt feeling gd
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i cant bring myself tO trust u Or mi
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
everytHing is sO cOnfusing
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
u dun even trust my love for u...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
the love is already in the bottom of my heart...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
i cant seems to take it away...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
the more force i use to take it away...i seems like killing myself...i cant focus on anything...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
i dunnO
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
its dunno n nth again...haiz...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
dun make everything so confuse ba...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
trust yrself...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
trust wat u saw...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
forget it le...
IcY***<> *-* Infinite Love*-* says:
i will auto disappear from yr sight...
*~.:.^ # s 1 _ 1 \ g ™ # ^ .:.~* says:
...

2006-01-26T01:26:00.000-08:00

Cant control myself from typing all my feelings in here....there seems to be alot of things in my mind...i m starting to feel tat i had lost myself...m i really who i m??

The whole day i had been able to feel my heart beat...i m scare of something...i cant figure out wat it is...till i ended the conversation with her....after wat had happen last nite...i had been controlling myself nt to call her or msg her...but i still gave in le...i juz being cheap...msg her ard 1pm...she use a veri long time to reply back...can understand becoz lately she had been rushing her work...so didnt bother her till 4.30pm...i kept calling n msg-ing her...but she juz didnt pick up my call or even reply my msges...she finally msged mi at ard 7plus...she told mi she was slping so didnt know tat i called n msged her...i juz kept quiet n asked her if she had taken dinner...all she reply is "ya...mummy cooked..." haiz....so i reply back n asked if she is still angry...her reply is "No." all i gt is all tis cold shoulders...

After my work...i gave her a call...but she doesnt seems to be interested in talking...i asked her alot of things...n kept saying is all my fault abt those things tat had happened last nite...all she said is juz "nth" n "dun know"....i m really at my wits le....wat the hell did i do wrong lor?? I didnt admit at the first place becoz i really didnt do it...until the end...i admit it le...but all she say is tat she dun wan mi to admit it....i gave in to her becoz i really didnt wan all tis rubbish or rather misunderstandings to ruin the r/s between us....she didnt wan mi to admit becoz she said i admitted it becoz of her n nt becoz i had really done it...haiz....i really dun know wat she wan le...i really miss her alot today...but she seems to be able to control herself well...she can juz dun call or msg mi the whole day...m i really so worthless towards u till u can juz gt mi out of yr heart in juz a second.... :'(

In a r/s, if u learn how to forgive n forget...tat will be the highest level le....no one is perfect in tis world...everyone will tends to make mistake...if u really love tat person...why nt accept his apology n forget abt the whole thing?? life will be much more beta wen u will to forgive tat person n slowly forget abt the whole thing....how long can u really hate someone??? a lifetime?? den u will be veri unhappy for tis lifetime as u will be veri busy in hating tat person...why nt forget it n juz be happy?? i believe ppl will learn from their mistakes de....

2006-01-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

Morning...will be rushing tis entry...as i left only 10mins for tis entry....

Something bad had happened between us....she had been saying i m lying to her....had been quarrelling throu the nite...so sick of it....at the start i denied everything as i really didnt do it...but in the end i admitted it...becoz i dun wan to kept gg rounds le....if i dun admit it the thing wont juz end....she dun wan mi to admit becoz i admitted it for her....i dun wan all tis misunderstandings or rubbish to ruin everything....

Watever it is...if u wan to trust wan u had c...juz go ahead...i had no more energy to convince u le....there one thing for sure...the pic u saw...wasnt in my hp....i really didnt c any pic....there's all i wan to say....i know u wont believe mi even if i admit it....so decided to keep my mouth shut...dun wan to say anything le....shall leave it to u le....in the end i m still a liar to u!!

2006-01-24T21:48:00.000-08:00

Juz gt back hm...wen to watch Memoirs Of A Geisha le...nice nice show...hmm...will rate it 4 stars out of 5....its abit draggy la...but after all its veri gd...u guys can consider to catch it... =)

Wen out ard 3pm in the afternoon....actually wanted to fetch her de but she ended sch early so decided to meet her at cini...i wen to gt the tickets first....n stood outside of cini to wait for her...i waited for one n a half hr lor...haiz...its been a veri long time tat i didnt wait for gals tat long le... anyway its guys de job to wait for gals de...isit?? haha.....

The show was quite long...2hrs ba...ended at 8 plus....den hurry wen for dinner...was damn damn hungry lor....ate long john...haha...my fav....ate alot n was veri full now....tml will be working alone sia...sian 1/2...haiz...

Shall end my entry here...gg to watch tv le...c u guys....miss ya...

2006-01-23T09:58:00.000-08:00

Wanted to blog last nite de but didnt have the time to do so....tis few days things had been happening...its like only the third week of 2006 n it doesnt seems smooth for mi at all....

My leave had been cancelled...i m trying to fight for it...n have to c how things go today....will try to talk to them today....n had been working alone...really damn sian sia...kept working alone...cant have meals...cant go to the toilet...n tons of bloody things to do.....*tired*

Did i really make a wrong choice by turning bung?? Life doesnt seems easy for us...true we r abnormal but we r still human beings ar...we will gt hurt too....we too have feelings...cant we oso have a r/s? cant we have a proper life without being looked down on....i had always been putting double effort in watever i do...n been letting ppl know tat we too can do a great job...but i think its juz a waste of time n energy ba...becoz no one appreciate it....

In r/s...once parents object...we have to break up no matter how deeply in love we r...history r juz repeating itself....so wat we r really in love?? till the end i m still a bung!!! wat can we do?? cant voice out wat we r thinking...juz sit there...n let the one u love walk past....cant do anything...maybe juz make yrself drunk everyday to forget all the things....juz let the heart bled non stop...pain non stop....haiz....miserable.....SUCKS!!!

2006-01-21T10:53:00.000-08:00

Watever i had done is all wrong
Life is so miserable

Its my off day today...staying at home to rest...had been sick again...fever...running nose...aching all over...hate my body so much...always get virus veri easily....tis time gt it from my di...argh!! he was sick too n gt 2 days of mc....i m feeling so jelly now...mind blank liao....haiz...

I m sorry for wat i had done tis few days...been asking for too much attention from u le...sorry for being so childish....i dun know wat had gone into mi...i haven been taking care of myself...torturing myself....had really gone overboard le....i had waken up by wat u had said last nite...i didnt brought u happiness but all sadness...everytime making u cry n stuffs....i felt so helpless....speechless...all i can say is a big sorry to u....

2006-01-17T23:50:00.000-08:00

Its my off day today...last nite wen home veri late...was veri tired sia...after work wen k-box with derrick n her...mi n derrick damn stress abt work...so plan to destress...n asked her to tag along...ard 2 plus left the place n head to have prata...haha...been eating the whole day....getting fatter n fatter liao...sian 1/2...gt to cut down le sia....after eating...chit chat abit n wen back home le...slept ard 5am....

Woke up ard 10 plus today...slply sia...rush throu my stuffs n brought rina(my dog) for grooming...was rush until siao...wen to fetch her...head for bugis...had billy bombers for lunch...next wen for her new year shopping...bought some clothes for her n she gt herself a pair of shoes too...i like the shoes veri much....haha....after all these shopping...we wen to look for vee...chit chat le n head for home...both of us was veri tired le....

Reached home ard 5 plus...watched final destination 3 which my didi had downloaded....veri nice show but lame ending...n juz slacking at home till 10pm...send her home...n here i m blogging...she must be slping now....piggy piggy le....haha...

Different human beings have different expectations...often ppl will say...dun have expectation den u wont have to gt disappointed...but to mi...i think everyone have expectations de...its juz tat some r high...some r low....u must have alot of confidence den u can have high expectations...n ppl like mi...i only have low expectations...u may say i have veri low confidence but the more u expect...the greater the disappointment will be....have expectations n u will have hope...but juz limit yrself...to set it high or low its yr choice but u will gt veri hurt wen things dun turn out to be wat u had expected de....

2006-01-16T00:05:00.000-08:00

Having veri bad headaches tis few days...maybe its the weather ba...been poping pain killer but i dun think it help...sian sia...today sales was gd $1800++.....dun understand why there r so much of things to do everyday...its making mi crazy....argh!!

Hmm...been thinking...actually couples really need alot of communication de...without communication everything will be ruined....another thing is trust...couples have to be honest to each other....even its juz a white lie...its still hurts....u may scare tat if u tell yr partner the truth u will hurt them but did u ever think if u continue to hide it...wat if yr partner found out the truth will he/she be more hurted?? haiz...love is really veri miserable....to say out the truth will oso hurt them...hide everything will oso hurt them....to say or nt to say?? think carefully...follow wat yr heart is telling u...nt yr mind....

2006-01-15T01:01:00.000-08:00

Back to update my lovely blog le...tis few days...there is gd n bad things happening...fri the 13th...was veri tired tat day....woke up ard 5 plus in the morning n wen to fetch her up...fetch her to sch n i wen to work...slept throu the whole bus journey...shiok sia but back pain...sit too long le...work non stop tat day...was quite pissed with everything....so much rubbish to do...tis n tat...n i m having a veri bad headache tat day...all morning n afternoon juz sucks...gt wat stupid daily stock report to do...haiz...

In the evening she came over n we wen back to my place to gt some rest...after tat wen out ard 10pm...caught the show The Ghost of Maenak at 11.45pm...after tat 2nd one was Heirloom at 2.10am...haha...its been a veri long time i didnt go for 2 shows at one go le...reached home ard 4 plus...wen bed ard 5am...tired le....

As for today...woke up ard 11 plus...blur blur de...was quarrelling with my mum over money again...really sian 1/2 sia...wen out ard 1 plus to meet up with her n next wen orchard to meet up with edwin...had swensen for lunch...n she left ard 4pm for her family dinner...ed n me met up with jaslin...n den vanssa...n in the end all pang seh mi...vivan called ed up n ed left to meet her...as for vanssa...she wen to meet her cousin...jas wen out with her bf...haiz...i m left all alone...so wen boat quay...sit along the riverside n think of my stuffs...i think i had no ans to all my questions...even i had think for hrs le....haiz....life sucks!!!

2006-01-09T23:48:00.000-08:00

Bad day...damn suay lor...woke up veri early tis morning...wanted to give her a surprise...wanted to fetch her to sch...den something happened...the ring tat she gave mi was lost...cant find it at all...threw a veri big temper...in the end gave up looking n hurry head to her place....wen i m in bus...took out my hp...n saw something shiny in my bag...n its the ring...haha...blur blur de mi...reached her place ard 7.20am...saw a bus passby...n had the feeling tat she will be boarding the bus...my feelings r rite...called her wen i alight the bus...n she told mi she already boarded the bus...haiz...the moment i heard tat my heart had the painful feeling...dun understand why...disappointed ba...becoz i miss her so much...wanted to c her...wanted to give her a surprise...but ended up r all disappointment...so decided to walk home...from ang mo kio to toa payoh...juz feel like keep walking non stop...reached bishan...gt gastric...no choice gt to take a bus home...once reached home was ok le...

Den came another stupid thing...my mum threw all my things in my cupboard...haiz...i dun know if there r important stuffs anot...but i knew she really threw alot away...my whole table n cupboard is empty de...didnt gt angry or stuffs...no use...cant do anything...becoz everything is in the rubbish bin le...sian 1/2....

Slack at home the whole day...watching vcd...glue to My date with a vampire 3 le....did some hse cleaning...den gt out of the hse ard 3 plus...wen over to far east to fetch her...was raining veri heavily...scare she gt wet...so wen to fetch her...was kana splashed wen a stupid car drove pass mi...i was half wet sia....but no choice la....raining is bound to gt wet de....waited her at the far east bus stop...den took bus back to toa payoh...wen supermarket to gt our dinner de ingredients...hmm...had spaghetti n mushroom soup for dinner...was damn full sia....haha...

Watched tv together...like tis kind of feelings veri much...cold weather...hugging each other...watching tv...n chit chat...hmm...nice feelings...at ard 10pm sent her to bus stop....hope more of these days will come....haha...

2006-01-07T23:22:00.000-08:00

Its my off day today...planned to go sentosa with edwin, mel & her...but in the end edwin n mel put aeroplane...so it left mi n her...didnt slp last nite...wen drinking...reached home ard 5...did slept for awhile...woke up ard 7...did some of my stuffs den packed my bag n left home...reached ang mo kio veri early...so waited for her...both of us was veri disappointed tat they all last min cant make it...took train to harbourfront...had mac for breakfast...den wen to cold storage to gt drinks...after tat took bus in...reached ard 10 plus...nt much ppl...wasnt crowded at all....found a place to settle down...the weather is kinda of notti today...rain n stop rain n stop...after raining the sun shine for awhile n it started to rain again....haiz...but managed to have fun too...played with sand n water...haha....

Left sentosa at ard 2 plus...wen to jurong point to meet ed...reached jurong point ard 4 plus...was damn hungry...ate alot of things sia...half plate of chicken rice den half bowl laska den one whole plate of fried rice...zai rite?? was too hungry le... =)) after tat slack ard n chit chat...den take a walk ard jurong point...damn crowded lor...so left ard 6 plus...took bus home...whole journey took us abt 1 hr plus to reach...n we slept throu the whole journey...was veri tired...asked her to go back to my place to take a nap first...slept from 8 to 10...woke up n send her to take a cab...

She had reached home le...slping le...here i m blogging for the day...i m veri tired too...but still waiting calls from my kakis...dun know tonite have drinking session ma?? tml work for one day n mon is my off day again...hmm...gt to slack on mon ba...sian sian....

We sort of gt back together...i dun know how r her feelings now?? had a talked with her last nite...she told mi her love for mi had stop le...juz stop at a point where there is no increasing or decreasing...i told her i really hope everything will be smooth before i leave for thailand....questions marks everywhere....haiz.....*lost*

2006-01-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

Reached home nt long ago...veri veri tired...didnt slp for 2 days le...been drinking n drinking...its been quite a long time i didnt have tis kind of nites le...glup down one mug by one mug...shiok n at the same time can forget everything...haiz...tonite maybe gg with them for drinks again...still thinking becoz tml gg sentosa for volleyball...gt to wake up damn early...hopes everything goes well tml ba... =)

Been doing alot of thinking...especially my career...a few choices to chose n i dun know wat to chose...which way to go...trying my best to relax myself le...but cant seems to do so...haiz...there is something in mi tat i cant seems to forget...cant let go...i m still holding on to something tat is veri important to mi...haiz...a big stone blocking my mind...things in there cant flow properly...shall c how ba...hope i can chose the path i wan to walk...i left only a few week's time le...

Recently been training myself...my bad temper...vee told mi to kick my bad temper away...the best way is nt to gt angry...at the first place if u r nt angry den yr bad temper wont come...need alot of time to calm down sia...my temper is tat kind of fast to come n fast to go de....so now trying veri hard to do so....nt to be in bad mood...nt to gt myself angry...i think tis few days i had been doing a veri great job le...hope will carry on tis way.... =))